i miss you

normally I'm mad at you

today I miss you

I want to allow myself to feel that

so I will

I see you kiss her and I feel nothing but regret

I had every opportunity to have you

yet I never took you

I was so afraid of everything else I turned you away

I didn't deserve you

you made an effort to change but I was blinded

everything you do wrong seems to fade in my brain

you are like a drug

i am an addict

once hooked and now I crave it ever so often

even though I know its no good

it makes me become a person I despise

I know she treats you so good

nothing I could ever do

you love hard

I don't realize I loved till it's all gone

I miss you

and I will still cry about you

yet you will never know that

because you can't

that's not fair to you

I deprived you of being able to love

you hurt me

yet you made me whole

which is why I am struggling to get over you

no one else makes me feel this way

I fear no one else will