Toxic cycle. Soph

It was a cold, lonely night. Soph was up late, many reasons why. The thoughts were running through her head, and she didn't want to stop them. It was so painful: realizing she has hurt someone so precious. She didn't mean to, but that didn't really matter. That is something that now was going to be with her forever. It was so hard, knowing that there is nothing she could do to take it back. That feeling crawled up her neck, making her want to tear her own hair out and dissapear. Soph wanted to cry and scream and not move at the same time. She was so focused on her school or any other things that don't really matter in life. The words that she heard so many times were running through her head. How she wasn't good enough or how she did not deserve to be herself. And with days, weeks and months passing Soph didn't even notice how now instead of saying what she really thinks, she just said what she thought the others think. And Soph didn't know how to stop. And now, in her room, instead if sleeping she was going through every bit that she had inside. She became so convinced that she was always wrong or not valid, that she kept the things she never wanted to even exist. And it made her so sick of herself. All the things she didn't want anyone to experience again - she was saying them. Soph didn't want to be a part of the cycle. Soph was not going to be a part of the cycle.