Dave Loves Alexis

Chapter 15 - Paul

This was the first day in months where Paul had not shed a tear. Not that he was feeling any better, it was just that his grief had finally settled in so deeply he had become resolved. Soon he wouldn’t be in pain any longer. Permanent relief was only an hour away. He was ready.

He looked at his watch and it was 5:45. Close enough to leave for the day without calling any attention to himself. He gathered up his things.

When he left the office building it was cold outside and raining steadily. He put his head down and drew his unbuttoned coat about him.

He found his black Tesla in the lot and got in.

His heart leapt when his passenger’s door abruptly opened and a tall, dark haired woman jumped into his car.

She said, “Don’t think about calling the cops, Paul. Don’t consider getting out. Don’t reach for your tire iron you keep under your seat. And no, this isn’t a robbery or a car-jacking. And don’t drive to the cop’s station like I know you’re contemplating. And no, I’m not a hooker.”

“How do you know all those things? What’s going on here?” he asked in total confusion as this woman seemed to be reading his every thought as he had them.

“What’s not going on is a better question,” she said. “Your work buddies are going to be filing out soon and they might see me, so get it in gear and put this car into gear.”

“Get out of my car!” he yelled.

“I know you are going to kill yourself tonight,” Alexis said.

Paul stared at this young woman in surprised shock.

He tried to speak, but she cut him off by saying, “Listen Paul, I don’t have all day here, so we have to get this moving. Like I said, you’re planning to kill yourself tonight. You’ve been thinking about this for weeks, but today, as you well know, is the day. You know the drill, you're going to blow your brains out with your thirty eight that you keep in a shoebox in your bedroom safe.”

“How in the world do you…” he began.

“Be quiet and listen and stop asking stupid questions,” said Alexis. “How I know isn’t important and if I told you, you wouldn’t believe me. Let’s just say I know by fucking magic. I know it and you know it. That’s what’s important. And what’s absolutely crucial is that you can’t fucking do that. God damn it Paul, some of your coworkers are coming out the door, so start driving.”

“Nobody knows about my pistol in my safe, much less a stranger. Who are you?” he asked.

“Start driving or I’ll scream rape,” Alexis said. “Or maybe I’ll yell out to your esteemed colleagues you’re suicidal. I love having options. Listen, if you get this car moving, I’ll tell you who I am.”

Paul put his car into drive and started out of the parking lot.

“Who are you?” he asked again.

Alexis said, “Ha, ha, I lied. Who I am is not material or germane at all. What is important is that if you shoot yourself tonight, your daughter’s life turns to shit. Amanda, right? If you blow your brains out tonight, her life turns into complete dog poop. She turns into me. Take a good look at me Paul, and process. Better yet take a whiff. I am very ripe now, aren’t I? So here’s what you’re going to do. First, you’re not going to commit suidide tonight like you were planning, by first calling the cops and giving them a heads up and then doing it, so your daughter, who is coming to your palatal palance tomorrow, won’t be the first to find you. Very thoughtful of you on that by the way. Comendible and all. I wish one of the significant fellas I had in my life had been so considerate, cause that is a rather jarring scene. When I saw you doing that I approved of that part of your plan, that plan that now you are not fucking going to do at all.”

Alexis took a breath and Paul studied her in silent confusion, and in growing wonder.

And he could do so because now they were stopped at one of the city’s traffic lights. Alexis swore as a beat cop crossed the street in the crosswalk in front of them. She said, “Paul, that cop is eyeballing us. I look so shanky and shitty, he probably thinks I’m a prostitute you picked up. Give him a friendly wave and don’t even think about calling out to him. And would you please turn the heat up, because I’m soaked and freezing my bony ass off.”

Paul thought about calling out to the cop, but Alexis said, “Paul, your daughter’s future life is the stakes here. I have seen it. You need to know what I’ve seen and know.”

Paul gave the cop a friendly wave. Then he turned up the heat.

“Woohoo!” cried Alexis. “This is going great! I swear, these fucking interventions always seem to go awry. Love the heat too, thanks,” she said as she rubbed her hands in front of the blowing heater.

“Where should I drive?” asked Paul as the light turned green.

“Anywhere you want,” Alexis said. “All you need to do is listen to me for a while. So when Amanda shows up at your digs tomorrow for lunch, like you planned, you aren’t going out for lunch. You’re going to invite her in. And then you’re going to go through her purse. You see, here’s the situation, since your wife died, Amanda’s fallen apart just as much as yours have. She’s completely hooked on pain pills now. You know, opiates. They are all the rage now. Plus, she’s juuust starting to play around with coke. Always a bad move. I speak from personal experience on that one as well. Surprise, surprise, right? I know all this is alarming, but you are going to score a big break on this. Once that drug issue is out of the bag, by literally being out of her bag, and in your hot hands, that path of destruction will be on the way to being squashed. And that new job offer she got. You know the one, at that big, cold, corporate law firm that’s far away from your soothing presence. The firm that offered her a butt load of dinero. What’s the name of that place? I can’t remember…”

“Peterson and Davis,” said Paul.

“Yes!” said Alexis as she snapped her fingers. “I actually saw the sign on the door two or three times. I swear Paul, the old mind is going here. Anyway, she can’t go there. It’s all corrupt, cut throat office politics and unethical there and...wrong for her. She’ll just get chewed up and spit out there. It’s not her style and she is ill equipped for such a machiavellian environment. She senses that and doesn’t want to go there anyway. Ask her tomorrow and you’ll see. She can’t go there, is that clear?”

Paul was silent for a time and Alexis looked to him to read his face. He looked serious and thoughtful. She also noticed he looked pretty damn debonair in his pin-stripped suit. Reality now was sometimes sharper than what she envisioned, and so was Paul, to her surprise.

He finally said, “Nobody could possibly know about my revolver in my safe. That is a secret that I kept from everyone, including even my wife when she was alive. And while I have been very distraught over my wife’s death, I have been very careful to not divulge to anyone that I have be thinking of suicide. So surprisingly enough, you are being very clear. Once again I ask, how do you know all this?”

Alexis relaxed back into her seat and she studied Paul more. He had a handsome salt pepper thing going on with his hair. He looked like a good guy. Then she noticed a tear rolling down his face. She switched down from the manic top gear she usually operated under and she grew calmer.

“Listen Paul, I don’t know how to explain this,” she said. “To me now these things are always muddled. Most of them come to me in pieces in dreams over a week or two. But now I’m getting snatches of them when I’m awake. So I have to put them together. Like a puzzle. I’m sure this makes no sense to you. I mean it doesn’t even make any fucking sense to me, so how could it to you? I’m blabbing. I tell you what, how would you like to hear some good news? You haven’t heard any good news in awhile, right? Would you like to hear some really, really good news?”

Paul’s voice choked a little and he said, “I would.”

Alexis’s heart cracked at this because even though this was the umpteenth time she had heard him cry, up close and personal was different. So she said softly, “I can’t see what it is exactly, but your daughter is going to do something very big. And good. She is going to write some bestselling novel, or become a senator, or start some big charity or something like that. Or bigger. In the future I saw you at home, you were reclining in your chair, the red leather one, while you watched her on TV. She was blah blah blahing about something with reporter mikes around her, but I couldn’t hear her. And you, as you watched, had a big smile on your face. And I know this as well. Whatever she was talking about, that she was doing, this thing of hers was making this shit hole world a better place.”

Paul continued to drive and another tear fell down his face, but he said nothing.

Alexis couldn’t read him and so she asked, “What are you thinking?”

He said, “Now, I don’t believe you. I don’t think I’m ever going to feel better.”

Alexis’s face pinched from sadness at this. She said, “I’m going to be honest with you. Part of you is never going to recover. You are never going to fully recover from losing Elise. You’ll never find another woman to love. They broke the mold when they made her and you know it. You’ll never find happiness with another woman again. I saw this too, very clearly. And I’m sorry.”

And then Paul did something that surprised Alexis. He said, “You don’t have to be a mystic to see that.”

Alexis laughed and laughed at this, and so now Paul laughed a little too. “Jesus,” she said. “This is going great! Do you know how many times I’ve been beaten or had the cops called on me in doing this type of thing? Anyway, time is ticking, and in three days I have to be across this big ass country of ours and in Cali because your story is already being replaced by the next lovely picture show that’s being cooked up in this crazy noodle of mine. So Amanda can’t go to that shitty firm. In two weeks when she graduates from law school, she needs to move back in with you. You will reground and fortify her. And you won’t have to twist her arm to come back home either. And this will be good for you as well. Doesn’t that sound nice? I mean you want that too, right?”

Paul was silent for a time and then he said, “Actually, I would love to live with my daughter again, even for just a time.”

“Woohoo again!” shouted Alexis. “Moving along very, very nicely here. I feel as if this might go into the old win column and as well shy of fifty-fifty on these things, another victory would be sweet. So, here’s the last part here. Somewhere, down the line she’s going to bring home a boyfriend that you think is bad news. Honestly, at first, you’re going to hate him. And he’ll have baggage and bring some very bumpy issues. You have to ride that out. He’s an important part of the puzzle. He’s going to right his ship and support your daughter. They will be a team, forever. They are going to fall in love. He is going to support her in getting to where she’s going, so even though you are going to despise him at first, you can’t chase him off.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” said Paul.

“It’s gonna suck worse than you think,” she said. “Think about it. In the future, after eeeverthing I’ve told so far has come true, you are going to hate and question this kid so much that you are going to think I got this wrong. Hey, would you swing through that drive through? I’m starving and getting all woozy and light headed and I need something to eat. And would you please pick up the tab? I’m flat broke.”

Paul hit his indicator signal and pulled into the drive through line.

Alexis smiled and said, “Hey, thanks for turning on my heated seat! My ass hasn’t been this hot since I was a teenager. You are pretty smooth over there. And thoughtful too. Anyway, now it’s review and recap time. Tell me. What’s the plan?”

Paul said after a time, “Tonight, I do not commit suicide as you somehow rightly saw I was planning to do. Tomorrow when my daughter comes for lunch, we go inside instead. I’m going to go through her purse and I assume I will find drugs. I’m going to ask her if she really wants to work at Peterson and Davis. I’m assuming she is going to say no. Then I’m going to ask her if she wants to move back in with me after her last two weeks of law school are completed. I don’t know what she is going to say, but I’m going to tell her that’s what I want her to do. And then, some time in the future, she is going to become romantically and emotionally involved with a troubled man who I will disapprove of, and initially will not like at all. So much so, that I’m going to actually question your judgment that he will be good for Amanda. But if I hang in there and am patient, he will turn himself around and help Amanda in achieving something that is ethical and helps many people in some way unforeseen by you.”

Alexis was silent at this. Paul had listened carefully to everything she had said. She was uncharacteristically optimistic that this was going to work. She could taste it. She asked, “Do you believe me?”

Paul was silent to this for a time and then he said, “Actually, that doesn’t matter in a way. It’s a good idea to do everything you have specified regardless of why. My only concern is that I have never violated my daughter’s privacy in any way, much less ever opened her purse without permission.”

Alexis smiled and said, “Sorry about that. You’re going to have to sink to that level tomorrow.”

Paul was at the ordering microphone now. He turned to Alexis and said, “Tell them what you want.” Alexis leaned over him and she did so. And when she was done, he ordered the same thing as she had and then he drove forward.

“You want to eat exactly what I ordered?” she asked curiously.

“No, that’s all for you,” he said.

She smiled.

Paul asked, “So how was my understanding of what I am supposed to do?”

Alexis smiled broadly and said, “Fucking spot on. Somebody’s a sharp boy.” She looked at Paul and then she noted the luxuriousness of his car’s interior. “What exactly do you do?” she asked.

Paul said, “I’m a lawyer too. A lawyer who works for a large, cold, and sometimes unethical corporate firm.” Then both he and Alexis were silent for a time. Eventually Paul said, “It would be nice to see my daughter do something other than what I do.”

Alexis smiled and said, “She is going to make you so proud. It will help with your pain. She is going to help many, many people.”

Paul was at the pick up window now. He paid for and received the bags, and then passed them to Alexis.

He wheeled into a parking spot. Alexis started digging into one of her bags and started devouring her food. After a time she said, “Fuck, I dripped some barbacue sauce on your seat,” and then she tried to mop it up with a napkin.

Paul said, “Don’t worry about that. Eat. When was the last time you ate?”

Alexis said through her mouth full of veggie burger and fries, “A day or two ago, I don’t remember. My life is kind of a sad, hazy blur.”

Paul’s brow furrowed in concern at this. He looked at her tattered clothing and asked, “Are you homeless?”

Alexis nodded her head as she stuffed more fries in her mouth. Paul said, “You are welcome to stay at my house tonight. It is palatial, just as you’ve said. There is lots of room there.”

Alexis' heart warmed at this. It had been a long time since she had felt anything like this. She swallowed her mouthful of food and washed it down with diet coke and said, “That is very nice of you, and I’m very tempted to say yes. But that’s not in the cards for me. My future is like yours. It’s lonely pain punctuated by bits of happiness. Like right now.”

Paul sat in silence for a time to give Alexis time to eat her food without questions. After a while, when she wasn’t ravenously hungry anymore, she said, “Plus, I need to go to California. That’s where the next fun is.”

Paul asked, “What’s your name?”

Alexis froze at this question. She was starting to gather that Paul was very different, in a good way. This made her even more wary than if he had been a dick. Nevertheless she said, “Alexis.”

He asked, “Alexis, what do you think is going to happen in California?”

She was quiet for a time and then she said, “I’ve seen that I need to go there quickly. It looks messy. Way messier than you. Bigger stakes. And I see that I get hurt, and that my mind snaps a little more out there.”

“Then don’t go,” said Paul.

There was something about Paul that made Alexis warm inside. She had not talked like this with anyone since Dave. Paul’s mind was fast and he was a quick study. And he was concerned for her well being. This was giving her pause.

She looked at her drink and said softly, “I have to. Lots of lives on the line with this one. And I’m already behind time wise.”

Paul asked, “How will you get there?”

She shrugged her shoulders and then she said sheepishly, “The best plan I could come up with was to hitch. Or try to steal a car.”

Paul put his car into drive and left the parking lot. “Where are we going?” she asked.

“My bank’s ATM,” he said.

Within minutes they were there and Paul pulled up to it. He pulled out a gold card and slipped it into the machine. He pushed some buttons for a time and then waited. Then he swore and pushed some more buttons.

“What’s the matter?” asked Alexis.

“It will only let me take out two thousand dollars. That’s the maximum.”

Alexis, who was still working on her food, almost choked on it.

A minute later Paul handed her a big old wad of twenties. And then he started to drive.

“What’s this?” asked Alexis in shock.

“It’s payment,” said Paul. “Haven’t you ever been paid before?”

Alexis looked at the money in her lap. And then she started to cry a little. She asked, “Can multiple punches to the head be considered payment?”

“No,” said Paul.

“Then, no. I haven’t. This is a ton of money.” She crammed the money into her bra and she said, “A perk of being flat chested. But now thanks to your stack, I’m stacked!” Paul laughed. Then she added quietly, “I’ve never had this much money before. Thank you.”

“To me, it isn’t much money. You deserve more,” said Paul. Alexis started to cry more. Paul handed her some tissues, and then he let her be.

When Alexis recovered, she asked, “Where are we going?”

Paul answered, “Since you won’t stay with me, I figured I’d take you to the airport, unless you want to go somewhere else.” And to this Alexis started up with another round of weeping. And she received more tissues from Paul.

After she recovered again, they rode in silence for a time. Now they were out of the city and on the highway. They were about ten minutes from the airport.

Alexis asked softly, “What are you thinking?”

Paul asked, “Can’t you tell?”

She laughed and said, “No.”

Paul said nothing, so Alexis asked again, “What are you thinking?”

Paul was quiet for some time and he thought. He asked, “Tell me what ability you think you have.”

Alexis froze at this and she felt a chill by this question. She said low, “I can’t explain it. It is not an ability, it is a curse. I mean look at me.”

Paul glanced sideways at her. Her hair was matted and greasy. Her clothes were torn and dirty. Her eyes had dark circles around them. She was very beautiful despite all this, he saw. But he could also see she was falling apart.

“Don’t go,” he said again. “Come stay with me for a while. You will like my daughter. I am very well off. You won’t have to worry about money for a while. And you know me, so you know I will keep my hands to myself. You’ll be safe.”

Alexis smiled at this. By now, they were within the airport’s circular roads.

“Thank you again for the offer, but I can’t,” she said.

“When you are done in California, come back here. Come back and look me up,” he said.

Alexis smiled, but shook her head no.

Now Paul was wheeling his car around to the airport’s main door. He parked, flicked his hazards on and got out of this car as the security/doorman approached him and greeted him by name. Paul said, “I’m relieved you’re on tonight, Al. This young lady needs to go to California immediately. She isn’t booked yet, so please help her get on the first flight there. First class if it’s available. And she needs to get there quickly. It’s urgent.” He pulled out his wallet and handed Al all the money from within it. “That should cover it, you keep the rest.”

Al started to count it, but then he stopped midway. He said,, “Cover it? Do you know how much…”

Paul said, “The rest is yours. Al, this is important.”

By now Alexis had climbed out of the car and she noticed Al looking at her curiously. It wasn’t everyday that Al saw what looked like a very disheveled, impoverished woman step out of such an expensive vehicle, although in his thirty odd years at working at the airport he had seen women as beautiful as Alexis exit such cars before...four or five times...maybe.

Alexis approached Paul. She ruffled his hair and said, “I had suuuch an amazing week with you. I’m sooo satisfied.” Al chuckled at this, recognizing she was being goofy and going for comedy, and as he knew Paul well.

Paul’sl face was grim and he said, “That is not funny.”

Alexis’s face went serious and she said, “I know.”

Paul asked Al, “Can you get her new clothes and a shower before she goes? I’ll pay you for those the next time I see you.”

Al said, “I don’t need more money, and we can arrange all that for the young lady, by hook or by crook.” Paul nodded his head.

Alexis stepped to Paul and she kissed him on the cheek. She went to say something but she could not speak. And then she cracked completely and started to cry in a very ugly way. She looked at Paul and saw shock and deep concern on his face, which made her cry even harder. So she just turned and went to Al as he looked as alarmed and concerned as well. Then she just stood before him and wept without relent, until he turned and led the way for her inside the airport.

Before they went through the sliding doors Paul called out to Alexis, “Will I ever see you again?!”

Alexis slowed her pace a bit and her head went down. The doors opened for her and she went through. And as the doors closed behind her, Paul saw that Alexis was shaking her head no.


The next day Paul sat with his daughter in his living room. On his coffee table was her open purse, bottles of pills. and a small bag of cocaine.

“Do you want to work for Peterson and Davis?” he asked.

Amanda’s face, which had been hung low, raised to meet his gaze. She was about to say something but her voice failed her and she cried some more.

“Call them up and tell them you changed your mind and won’t be taking that position,” he said. And in two weeks, after you graduate...I want you to come back home and live with me again. How does that sound?” he asked.

Amanda was quiet for a time, and then she shook her head no.

“You don’t want to come home for a while?” Paul asked.

Amanda wept more and said, “Of course, I do. I miss you so much. But you can’t actually want me to come back here.”

Paul laughed and said, “I want that more than anything. If I had my way, you'd come back here and stay here forever.”

Amanda looked at her father and said, “There is opportunity for advancement there. If I come back here, it’s like flushing six years of college down the toilet. And a ton of your money, too. But I don’t think I’m smart enough, or organized enough, or strong enough, to be a lawyer. What will I do for work?”

Paul said, “I don’t know. You don’t have to do anything right away. You can come back here and just think for a while. Who knows? Maybe you’ll run into a young man who’s all ga-ga over you and you can figure it all out together.”

Amanda cried and said, “I’m so sorry. I just completely fell apart after mom died.”

“Yeah, I know. So have I. Will you tell the firm you’re not interested, and then will you come back home?”

Amanda nodded her head and said, “Yeah, you don’t have to twist my arm about any of that.”

Amanda’s answer gave Paul a chill.

Amanda grew thoughtful and said, “All of this is freaking me out.”

Paul looked at her curiously as she said, “This is like a dream. It’s as if you can read my mind or you’ve been watching me through some crystal ball or something. My head is spinning. Am I even making any sense?”

Paul nodded his head and said, “Believe it or not, that makes complete sense to me.”

“How does that make sense to you?” asked Amanda as she looked to her father with curiosity.

“It just does. I can’t explain it. But I tell you what, I can predict the future now too,” he said.

Amanda stiffened in anticipation and asked, “What do you mean?”

Paul rose from his chair and sat on the couch next to his daughter. He hugged her and he said, “I predict that what I am going to say next to you, you won’t believe.”

Amanda asked quietly, “What won’t I believe?”

He said, “I believe you are going to make me very proud.”

Amanda laughed and relaxed into her father’s hug. She said, “Right again! I don’t believe you at all!”