Free Lunch

There aren’t many things in life
that you can get for free.
And those you can are not worth much,
I’m sure that you’d agree.

When someone offers something and
you couldn’t give a damn,
just shake your head politely and
then say, “No thank you, ma’am.”

Oh, sometimes there’s a treasure that
you’ll hold in high regard.
The one I favor most of all? -
my own library card.

But most free things will have a catch.
They aren’t really free.
There’s always something that they want.
Yeah, you just wait and see.

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,
is what some guy once said.
But who would give a horse to me?
And who would keep him fed?

Beware of strangers bearing gifts,
is more the way I think.
So keep your horse, I don’t trust you;
I saw your shady wink.

Then someone offers his advice
and tells me that it’s free.
But since he’s giving it away,
well, how good can it be?

Get on your horse, take your advice,
and stick it up your nose.
There’s no such thing as a free lunch,
is how that saying goes.