(Mis)Adventures in ToonTown

         Henry hated Toons. He was an adult when they first invaded our reality (our did we invade theirs?), and, as a respected professor of Math (and a serious man all around), their chaotic nature meant their very existence was nothing less than actually insulting to him.

         So he chose to avoid them whenever he could, which made it all the more disturbing to Henry when he noticed he'd accidentally wandered into his city's ToonTown one day. His mind had been elsewhere, and he only noticed where he was when he almost bumped into a...weasel?

         "S'cuse me, mister!" it said as it hurried around him, dressed in a mailman's uniform.

         Just like a Toon, he thought. Always in a hurry, head in the clouds! And ugly to boot!

         And here came another such example - strolling up to Henry was a red, male (bipedal) bovine, puffing away on an oversized cigar. He took no notice of the smaller Toons around him: if they didn't move away in time, his huge beer belly would simply knock them out of his way, sometimes even into oncoming traffic (not that they were ever in any danger, as Toons are famously unkillable). He also happened to have an enormous bulge outlined through his blue jeans, something the more equally-sized female Toons he was now passing on the street all seemed to be (loudly) commenting on.

         More alarmingly, though, was that, despite this attention from the opposite sex, he had his sights firmly set on Henry. On top of that, and scarier still, was the look in the bull's eyes: it was one of pure hatred and malice. The cow finally reached him, and Henry could now take in his full size - he was enormous: at least 7 feet tall, and probably 5 feet wide at his broadest.

         "And just what I needed ta see today - annuda muddafuckin' human, thinkin' he can just barge his way into our town!" he said angrily, looking down at Henry.

         "Now see here, sir!" Henry began to explain, before being cut off by the ranting bull.

         "On tha day my own fuckin' wife left me! Sure, I fucked her sista, but you should see da ASS on dat broad. And dem tits too! Dat heifer needed a good fuckin' milkin', and her faggot husband sure wasn't givin' to her!"

         Henry wondered what any of this had to do with him, but the Toon just kept going.

         "But she'll come crawlin' back ta me, da stupid bitch! But just in case..."

         Now there was a mischievous look in the bull's eyes, as he used his thick tongue to move the cigar toward the front of his mouth.

         "Hold still, buttercup," he said, before blowing an absurd amount of smoke straight into Henry's face.

         But somehow (physics never quite operates correctly in ToonTown) the cloud expanded to cover Henry's entire body. And when it cleared, it revealed that Henry had been transformed into...a pink female cartoon cow!

         She was in every way the bull's female counterpart: tall, wide, and with a big round belly. Of course, her ass and tits were outrageously big as well, which suffice to say, did not go unnoticed by Bill (he never did manage to introduce himself, but that is his name).

         "Holy Toledo!" he yelled, his pupils turning into pink hearts, with his actual heart now starting to beat almost out of his chest. "You make my wife and her sista' look like fuckin' dime-store whores!"

         All of this would have horrified Henry, but Henry was...no more. Now she was Barbara, Toon heifer. And she liked what she saw in Bill.

         "Why don't you really show me how much fuckin' love me, ya big stud," she said, as she approached Bill and cupped his huge testicles through his pants.

         "Dat's it," Bill roared, and in one sudden motion, he ripped all of Barbara's clothes off, revealing her in all of her naked glory. Then he did the same to himself, finally freeing his huge erection, already leaking a profuse amount of precum.

         As a large crowd gathered around them, the two bovines began to have sex doggy-style, right there on the sidewalk. Even traffic on the street had come to a complete stop, to give the occupants a better chance at watching the proceedings.

         And what a sight it was! The force of the two huge bodies colliding with one another was even causing cracks to appear on the sidewalk!

         "Give me that big fuckin' dick!" cried Bertha, yelling so her lover could still hear her over the roars and cheering of the crowd. "Take me as ya' new wife!"

         And Bill certainly was giving it all he could, but he could somehow sense she needed a little something extra, to really push her over the edge. Luckily for him, they were in ToonTown, where opportunities for the extraordinary are never in short supply!

         Down the street from this public indecency, a wolf (in classic burglar apparel: a black and white striped shirt, black pants, black cap, and domino mask) had just robbed a bank, and was now absconding with the loot (in a brown bag with $ symbol on it, of course). Pursued by two pigs - literally, pigs - he maneuvered his way through the crowd. Then he leaped over the rutting cows, leaving his pursuers, unable to jump that high, in the dust. The pig-cop in the lead managed to make his way past the sex scene safely, but his partner, lagging behind, was not so lucky.

         Bill, with a mad look in his eye, grabbed the second cop with just one of his enormous hands. "Come here, ya fuckin' mug!"

         Still pounding his wife's huge ass, he began to mold and reshape the pig - into a living dildo (ToonTown physics at it again)! He then pressed the newly fashioned sex toy against his lover's anus, and, well, that seemed to do the trick!

         Bertha and Bill came simultaneously, causing them both to let a "Mooooo" so loud that it shattered nearby store windows and car windshields. And not only that, the orgasm caused Bertha's asshole to suck in the pig-cop-dildo!

         The two lovers collapsed, and the crowd, being Toons, and therefore in constant need of entertainment, began to disperse. Spooning on the cracked sidewalk, Bertha admired her wedding ring while Bill massaged her large, soft belly. Eventually, through the post-coitus bliss, Bill managed to be able to speak again.

         "Whaddaya say we take dis show home?" he asked Bertha.

         Bertha turned and gave her husband a deep, passionate kiss. Floating hearts danced above their heads.

         "Ya sure ya can keep yer mutts off me until then?" she said with a wink.

         Spoiler: he could not.

                                                           ...

         Bill and Bertha remained happily married in the years to come, eventually having 10 toon-cow babies. Bill's wife did try to reconcile with him, but he was uninterested, as Bertha was both fatter and far more beautiful. Plus, though Bertha had no memory of it, believing she had always been a Toon, Bill knew that he was the one who turned her, and that turned him on more than words could say.

         Nobody ever came looking for Henry, or even cared that he had gone missing, as he was unloved and unwanted as a human. Too bad; what a shame. And all of the students in his classes were given automatic As due to the disappearance of their teacher.

         And the pig-cop did not emerge out of Bertha's ass, ever. She never had trouble on the toilet either, leading her to believe that he had been simply absorbed into her somehow. They say Toons are unkillable, but her husband may have just proven that wrong. Not that he or Bertha really cared. The police officer's family and friends did, however, and would hold a vigil every year at the spot where he had been grabbed by Bill, sealing his fate.

         But why did Bill have transformation powers in the first place? Do all Toons have that ability? Or was Bill just a wizard of some kind? And if there are Toon police, why wasn't he arrested for murder, or for, you know, egregious public indecency?

         Eh, forget it - it's ToonTown.