25 December 2022

"I see we have a new member, the gentleman in the red suit. Perhaps you would like to stand up and introduce yourself."

"My name's Santa and (hic) I'm a ... alco ... alco (hic) ... pish 'ead."

"Hello Santa. Would you like to tell us something about yourself?"

"The room's going round. Mind if I sit down? Woops! Missed the chair. (Burp) It's the sherry, that's the problem. They leave me sherry, everywhere I go. What's a man to do?"

"Hi Santa, my names Fred. Welcome to the group. You say people keep forcing alcohol on you - maybe you need to change your friendship group."

"Not my friends. (hic) Kids."

"Hello Santa. My names Jo. You say it is children who are giving you alcohol. I find that rather worrying. How many of us started our downhill slope to alcoholism when we were underage? A show of hands ... that many?"

"Mince pies don't help. These days they're laced with booze. But it would be rude not to."

"Couldn't you just eat the carrots?"

"Hi Santa. My name is Ferdy. Can I ask ... er ... how often do you drink?"

"It's just at Christmas. I don't touch the stuff the rest of the year."

"Hands up who doesn't think this guy has a problem."

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