Love?

When you love someone, it changes you fundamentally. Remakes you in a way you couldn't be made before. Someone comes into your life, dips their thumb in ink, presses it in against your heart and leaves their mark. The fingerprints often fade, that's the good news. They get covered up by someone else's, repeating the same pattern as they press their fingers to your heart in overlap. Ink like bruises, but bruises also fade. It all fades eventually. Until it doesn't, i hope this time it doesn't.

"I love you", i try to say, in every other way besides saying the words themselves. Love you so much, it hurts. It's this horrid aching thing, completely overwhelming and i can't seem to know what to do with myself. But at the same time, i think: how wonderful, how beautiful, that i have the capacity to feel this much, to love this much.

This is how i love you. Outward. Like bleeding. Like beaming. I push my heart into the world, the whole ugly mess of it and hope maybe it will help, maybe it will do some good, maybe the way i feel about you, the way i hurt with it, the way i want, will not be in vain.

That's it, hopefully you will love me back, who knows?