THE SQUIRREL AND THE CROWS

Oh yeah, I can feel that it's all coming back to me now! Here's a true story I totally made up! It even won a contest! Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed recalling and writing about, the events that never happened!

THE SQUIRREL AND THE CROWS

One day in the forest while out for a stroll
I was looking for nuts to take home in a bowl
The ground all around looked as bare as could be
So, I set down my bowl n' climbed up in a tree

Twas then when I reached the last uppermost branch
That I spied me an eagle just by happenstance
But he spotted me too, n' then quite suddenly
The big birdy banked left, n' flew straight at ME!

I panicked, but managed to pocket my nuts
As I shimmied back down rather niftily, but
All-at-once a twig grabbed at my untied shoelace
And the next thing I knew I had come face-to-face ...

With a squirrel from inside his hollowed-out den
He told me, "I'd hide you here! But then again ... "
"You're too big to squeeze in! Also, I have guests."
Then he gestured behind him towards a straw nest.

I glanced at the nest ... also who was in there!
'Twas a crow with his wife. She was combing her hair
I said, "What's them crows doin' here in your den?"
And the squirrel replied, "We're all very good friends!"

Then I asked him, "How can you be friends with a crow?
Cuz I've heard they will eat baby squirrels, ya know!"
"Oh yes!" said the squirrel, "I've heard that is true!
But my friends here they much prefer fresh rabbit stew!"

I could see he was nervous, n' something was wrong
Them crows shouldn't be there. They didn't belong!
Twas then that the biggest crow glared straight at me …
N' cawed, "Mind your own business n' get off our tree!"

Then he pulled out a PISTOL from inside the nest!
'Twas a small one of course, but a GUN none-the-less!
He said, "Me n' the missus, we're MOVIN' IN, SEE?
N' I hereby declare this den OUR property!"

"You TELL 'em, Barney!" his missus, she said
Then he lifted the gun n' aimed straight at my head!
But I couldn't just leave the poor squirrel alone
To stand up to these varmints, protecting his home!

Their plan all along had been, obviously
To boot the young lad from his family tree!
Seemed I'd stuck me nose in there, at just the right time
To disrupt the bad birds from committing their crime

I said, "Go ahead … SHOOT! I'm calling your BLUFF!"
So, Barney he gave his black feathers a fluff …
Then firing the gun, he yelled, "YOU'RE GONNA DIE!"
As a COLD WATER SPRAY nailed me SQUARE in the EYE!

"Now SCRAM or the OTHER EYE GETS IT!" he cawed!
Twas only a TOY WATER GUN! … "OH, MY GAWD!"
Well, now I was PISSED OFF, n' reached far inside!
They had NOWHERE to RUN to, n' had NOWHERE to HIDE!

I GRABBED HOLD of Barney! … He started to PECK!
But I held him real TIGHT, by the SCRUFF of his NECK!
I PULLED him toward me, then FLUNG him OUTSIDE!
Then I reached in n' did the SAME THING to his BRIDE!

Well, they BOTH gave me HELL! Seemed I'd ruffled their feathers …
Then FLIPPED ME THE BIRD, as they flew off together!
I watched 'em soar westward, n' shaded my eyes …
As they shrank to mere specks in the afternoon sky …

Twas then that I spotted a much LARGER SPECK!
High above the two love-birds - twas TROUBLE by HECK!
But I can't say what finally happened up there
'Cuz the specs disappeared in the sunset's red glare

"Oh, THANK YOU!", said Squirrel, "You just SAVED my LIFE!
An' not only THAT, but my KIDS n' my WIFE!"
Said, "Won't you please stay? … Say "hello" to my brood?
They're away from the den now - out shopping for food."

"No, thank you." I told him, "I've got things to do …
So, I'm gonna climb down n' then re-tie my shoe!"
We shook hands "goodbye", as he said with a smile
"I'd sure love if you'd visit us once-in-awhile!"

"I'd like that!" I said, then descended the tree
Feeling happy inside, as a HERO should be!
I'll come back to see him. But don't know his name
Hope I'll recognize him. They all look the same!

That's okay, I'll remember the tree and his den
I just hope no one EATS HIM betwixt now n' then!
And so that's my story, I swear it's all true …
Boy, I sure do love happy endings! ... Don't you?

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