Im Pensive not Depressed

I'm pensive tonight not depressed,
otherwise I'll have to add another pill to my list.

My sister thought I was weird,
I said I'm unique.
We never got along anyway, so what do you think?

I used to look out windows and cry,
now I just go and sit outside.

It's a shame but the crickets I still hear,
soon will be gone too I fear.

And memories of old people, with all their wisdom,
that we once held dear.

Yeah, I'm pensive but not depressed,
no pill for this bad day.
Who really cares, anyway?

I look up at the stars,
but none are there.
Pollution and noise just fills the air.

Not like when I was young,
I could look up and see them,
And count every one.

Now they are gone like my life has
without much notice.
What does that say about us?

I'm pensive, not depressed.
Still here for a little more,
thats my best guess.

I get up every day, not sure why.
Legs hurt so bad,
I dont walk past the drive.

But I get up and see what I can do.
Not much to accomplish,
I'm all black and blue.

My arms once mighty, and legs like trees,
can barely get me to the kitchen,
to get something to eat.

So I'm pensive, but dont say depressed.
I won't take another pill,
until I get dressed.

I wrote this out of boredom,
or maybe it's the pensive.
I'm still not taking more of them.

Pills, pills pills. Oh boy we can fix you.
Here is one for this and one for that.
Hey Doc, get screwed!

I'm just pensive, not depressed.
I look at it differently then you,
that's my best guess.

And if I squint mt eyes, I might see a star.
I'm old and broke down, and my limbs are weak.
I'm pensive, not depressed,
but the pub is not far.

Dont get me wrong, I've did the drunk thing once.
I'm cured of that now.
I told you, I'm pensive Pal!

Well it all sounded great,
as ideas seem.
But no ones here, and no one to call,
So while pensive, and I'll just dream.

Bear 8/30/22