The Toast

The Toast

I don’t like to drink, read that as I hate it. I have never found an alcoholic drink that I liked and I have tried many. When you’re of a certain young age, drinking is very popular. Plus, everywhere you go everybody is drinking.

Often I got away without drinking, I just walked around with a glass that looks like everybody else’s. But sometimes people hand you one, and it wouldn’t go well to say “I don’t drink,” like you’re a goodie two shoes or something. I know, I’d tried...

So I had this drink and I was occasionally sipping, (wishing it was Diet Coke) trying to fit in with the crowd, and I sipped too much... so I was a little overly sipped when I realized I’d lost a button from my favorite shirt!

The room was crowded, but I started walking around looking for it and I saw it! It was under a chair I’d been sitting in earlier! I got down on my hands and knees to get it (remember I was sloshed) and when I got to the chair, the guy sitting there said, ‘Are you proposing to me?’ Well, I was so smashed, I just said ‘Yes! Will you marry me?’”

“You’re kidding,” Jane said.

“No that’s how it happened. Your father said ‘Sure’ and he drove me home. He was a perfect gentleman, and he promised to never make me drink alcohol again. I didn’t even find out his name until the next day.”

“That’s not romantic at all!” my thirteen year old daughter said.

“You’d be surprised,” I said, “I’ll tell you the story again when you’re twenty-five and see how you feel.

She had me tell that story at her wedding (and they served us apple juice for the toast :)