Marietta

Naughty Marietta is a nice, sweet, carefree girl. But one thing she does not like is to be spied upon. She hates people who infringe upon her personal privacy. This is why she often wears no knickers under her skirt. Of course, if she meets someone with whom she is happy to have a little gropey-grapple, he will be a lucky bunny indeed when he finds out she has a 100% deficit in the undies department.

One day she was driving along in her nice Ford convertible when she decided she felt a bit hot, so what do you think she did? She took off her blouse, and it just so happened she had forgotten to put her bra on that day, so there she was, whizzing along the motorway, naked apart from her flimsy skirt which occasionally blew up a bit and revealed the fact that she was knickerless. In fact, the only bits of her lovely body which were securely covered were her feet. But they were not visible to drivers of other vehicles.

After a short while, she overtook a large articulated lorry and when the driver glanced down at her, she waved gaily at him. She thought she heard him scream out "Phrwoooaaahhhh" before he swerved off the tarmac and crashed into a large oak tree. But she wasn't worried because she was very happy.

"Oh sweet mystery of life, at last I've found you!" she sang as the immortal tune pumped out of her retro-yet-very-trendy cassette player. And she absent-mindedly fondled herself as the car tore down the motorway.

And, do you know, Naughty Marietta's behaviour that day led to no less than twenty crashes, seven of them involving a serious injury and/or a fatality? And would you believe it? Only one person got killed (apart from the lorry driver who screamed out "Phrwoooaaahhhh" and then drove into a tree), but that one fatality was a newly qualified doctor whose favourite hobby was masturbating after internally examining his teenage girl patients.

God surely works in strange ways his wonders to perform.