William Shatner and the Psychiatrist

Mr Shatner, please come into my office, and have a seat on the couch. or if you prefer the recliner.

Mr. uh...

Dr. Noel.

Dr. Noel, who's this Shatner person. My name is James Tiberius Kirk, I'm the captain of the USS Enterprise. And just where in known universe did Scotty beam me down to, this time?

Mr. Shatner ... sorry Captain Kirk. You are on Earth, and a resident of Pleasant Valley Sanatorium.

What am I doing in a Sanatorium? I'm not crazy! Upset, but not crazy.

Why does MEDICARE give me all the ex-actors? Just once, I'd like to have a patient who thinks he's Napoleon, instead of some character on a set-com. Captain Kirk, you're here because ...uh... Dr McCoy thought you needed a few weeks rest, after your last assignment in the ...uh... Delta Quadrant.

Was that the encounter with Harry Mudd and his cloned wives? Or was it the encounter with the planet killer?

I'm not sure. Dr. McCoy's report says you were dealing with... uh... Klingons and Romulans.

Klingons and Ramulains? I didn't know they got along. I sure don't remember dealing with either race in my last assignment. And I don't think that was in the Delta Quadrant, wherever that is.

Captain Kirk, why don't I get my physicians assistant to show you to your quarters and order you something to eat. We can continue this conversation in the morning.

***

Good morning, Captain Kirk, how did your evening go?

When can I leave this crazy house? I have to get back to the Enterprise before the Klingons take it over.

What's the problem Captain.

The view screen in my room, showed a Klingon spy, as part of the crew. The fool captain didn't seem to notice.

You must be referring to Star Trek: The Next Generation. I ...I do apologize for that. I didn't realize that ...Star Fleet was going to show that training video or I would have warned you about it. Apparently, whoever is in command at Star Fleet want you to evaluate the officer disguised as the Klingon. You need to determine if his actions are authentic.

That doesn't sound difficult. Is that the only thing Star Fleet wants me to do?

There are two types of videos, The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine. All you have to do is evaluate the actions of any Klingons present.

After that's done, can I leave this place?

Of course, Captain Kirk.

Word Count: 409