The EB

The EB

“Oh really? Come on, you old bucket of bolts.” I kicked my truck, an old Datsun. They don’t even make this truck anymore, parts getting harder and harder to find.

“Can I help?” A voice beside me interrupted my angry kicking.

“Sure, I’m stuck here on the side of this god-forsaken road. My truck broke down, again.” I turned to see a large bull elk talking to me.

“Well, I’m in charge of EB roadside assistance. We cruise this road looking for lost or in-trouble travelers.”

“Um, okay, uh…”

“I can see you are astounded by my speaking. I assure you, this is no trick. You are not dreaming or hallucinating.”

“Well, then, um…”

The elk let out a loud bugle. I covered my ears.

Out of the nearby trees came a herd of cow elk.

“You see, I am Big Daddy Elk and these be my bitches.”

One female came to me. “That’s right. He’s the boss. Listen to him.” Then the cow elk gave me water and some snacks from their packs.

“Well, fine.” I’ll play along. “How can you help me? My truck is ancient, on its last legs. The odometer is broken, so I don’t even know how many miles it has. I’m sure you can’t fix it.”

“Yes, but we can tow you to a garage. We know of one.”

“What? Sure, but I can’t pay much.”

“We’re good Samaritans. No payment needed.” He let out another bugle. I covered my ears again.

Out of the trees came three bison bulls.

“What’s up Big Daddy? We heard the distress call.”

“Towing job.”

The bison towed my truck to Old Jakes’ garage, the elk made sure I was fed, and I got back on the road.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.


W/C 300