The new neighbor is...different. (Written for the Dialogue 500. It's a bit squicky.) |
"What?! You EAT humans?!" "Yep." "... Heh...You're messing with me." "No, no. I eat'em. Only once a month though. Fullmoon, ya know." "If you were a woman I'd think you meant your mood... You know, when they're on their period." "Eugh!! Don't say that, what's wrong with you? First time you meet your neighbor and that seems like an okay topic?" "Seriously, you just claimed to be a WEREWOLF. You're telling me that you eat humans for lunch.." "Dinner. Once a month." "...and you think I'M being disgusting? How can a little blood bother you, if you really want me to believe you're a freak'n werewolf?" "...Did you just call me a freak?" "You have got to be kidding me, pal." "Mind how you talk to me. You have no idea how much badmouthing I get from people because I'm different. Everywhere I go, people look at me like I'm a monster." "Well.." "And everyone I meet calls me names and makes up wild stories about me. You should hear some of the scandalous stuff they come up with! And sure, I feast on humans to survive, but that's just my nature. I'm not a sadist. Do you think everyone who eats a burger hates cows?" "I guess not?" "So mind how you talk to me, then. I might be different, but I am not a freak!" "Wow. Are you done, buddy?" "That depends. Are you gonna keep calling me names?" "I didn't actually call you a freak, my friend, you misunderstood me. Besides, I haven't been childish enough for namecalling in at least 400 years!" "... Huh?" "Well, perhaps I was a bit cheeky in the eighteen hundreds; we vampires were so popular then that my head got a bit big." "Oh. Of course... I mean, vampire.., that's what I thought anyway, I just... Ahem." "Really, though, do you actually EAT the humans? Flesh and everything?! I just drink their blood." Notes ▼ |