UFC Fight Night Momma Mangler vs Susan S

Have you ever had one of those insightful moments where you thought everything was going to turn out bad, but then, after the rain had washed all of the dust from your skin, and the clouds had cleared, a little blue bird landed on the end of your finger and sang the most beautiful of bird songs imaginable, and at that moment, you knew...everything was going to be Ok?



Today was a special day for my mother...for both of us really.

My step-sister and her husband came to visit, and they had an agenda to fulfil.

For as long as I can remember, when my sister and my mum have had a difference of opinion, my sister has won 99/100 times.

Today marks the one-hundredth day of difference between the two pugilists, and my mum, for the first time, stood up to be counted.

My tears are of pure joy.

You see, all of her life, my mom has had a blockage in her angry valve. This means she can only get to the level of indignant before her concern and empathy for others turns what should be rage (or as near to rage as any eighty-seven-year-old can muster or safely handle), into a bit of a whinge once everyone (except me) has left.

Well, that all changed today.

I was in disbelief when I saw the red in her eyes and a flash of false teeth, as she sailed past indignant, and into the realms of the unknown, to become the classic angry elder.

I was so proud, I cried, and it was Mom's heroics, as she made her way to the ring, walker in tow, which almost brought on the waterworks.

I had never seen a more beautiful thing.

I was overwhelmed with emotion as she, and she alone would face a large and extremely dangerous opponent, who in the past, had dominated her, and would stop at nothing to get her way...my mum's opinions converted to her own.

Your MC for tonight's event is Bruce Buffer. Take it away, Bruce.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the main event of the evening...introducing first, fighting out of the blue corner...this lady has been knocked down more times than a ten-pin at Cheap Pizza Palace and Bowl, and has the hips to prove it. Weighing in at a lot more than her health practitioner is comfortable with and quite possibly using illegal tactics, the one...the only, Momma Mangler.
(cheers ring out for the underdog)

And her opponent for tonight...fighting out of the red corner...she weighed in at every argument her family has ever had, and with a win/loss record against Momma Mangler standing at 43 fights for 43 wins, all by the way of knockout...she's the reigning, undisputed champion of the world, the one, the only, Susan, The Slayer, Saint.
(boo's, jeers and hecklers call her out)

Your referee for the evening is Nobody.

"Take it away, Nobody"

Nobody says..."FIGHT!"

The fighters move to centre ring. Susan Saint is doing her nails. Oh, she is brimming with confidence tonight.

But wait...is that a right glove? Held up high by Momma Mangler?

It is, and she has just launched it at Susan Saint's face. Susan Saint has never seen a move like this by Momma Mangler, and she doesn't even glance up from the nails until that right glove is almost upon her.

Susan Saint looks up casually and is completely baffled by Momma Mangler's shrewd and surprisingly legal move.

She's too late to avoid it, so the champion makes the unwise decision to block it with her super overconfident face. But the move backfires..and Susan Saint is going down. She hits the canvas, but the canvas then hits her back, only harder (as Canvass's father always taught him to do).

There's no need for Nobody to count...the champion is out cold (the crowd roars...happy to finally see the underdog win).

But wait...Momma Mangler is still swinging that right and has taken out two of her own cornermen. And she's not stopping...she's headed our way. Wait Momma, it's over and you won. Ahhhh...
(the crowd roars again for Momma Mangler...always thinking Bruce was a bit of a Nancy boy).


And to wrap up tonight's action, it was a brutal KO by Momma Mangler over her much-fancied opponent, Susan Saint.

Tune in next week for the rematch, where the challenger is sure to take her opponent more seriously.