A baby isn't quite what it seems.

This is true. A baby is not quite what it seems. Sure, it may look cute. It may seem harmless enough with its weird sausage link fingers and mushy head, but heed my words when I say, baby is a lie. Baby is lying to you right to your face and you have no idea. Baby does not want you to get a good night's sleep. Baby wants you to suffer. Baby wants to make sure that your money is spent quicker than a candle in a convent. Baby wants you to starve on the street. Baby may seem like it likes you, but baby does not. Baby gets its jollies making you cater to its every whim. Baby voted for Ronald Reagan and George W Bush. Baby wishes so badly to send missiles to the Middle East. Baby cries. But no genuine tears are found. Baby is a sociopath who uses emotional manipulation as cannon fodder in its battle to bring you to your knees. Baby is not what you want. Baby is what you are left with.