Groundhog Day

Oh man, here is that guy again.
This happens every year.
Hey, I was hibernating here!
Just try this with a bear.

He pulled me out of my dark hole
while I was fast asleep.
He woke me from a pleasant dream.
I feel like I could weep.

And there were people all around,
there were so many lights.
I couldn’t tell you up from down,
if it was day or night.

What is it with this pesky guy?
This how he gets a thrill?
It’s obvious that he’s a nut.
Why does he call me Phil?

And what’s with all the cameras?
I’m not prepared to pose.
I haven’t brushed my coat at all
or even blown my nose.

Hey, you try living underground;
it’s hard to look your best.
And harder when you’re woken from
a needed winter’s rest.

And man, it’s really cold out here.
I want my cozy den.
Just give me six more weeks inside
and I’ll feel better then.

I think I have to move this year,
go someplace far away.
Some place where they don’t know of me
or think of Groundhog Day.

That groundhog name is such a slur;
I don’t like it a bit.
Just call us woodchucks; that’s my choice,
and we’ll be done with it.

Then Groundhog Day will go away
and you’ll see me no more.
‘Cause I won’t have this pesky guy
out banging on my door.

And we’re not really weathermen.
Yeah, who came up with that?
Hey, I can’t tell when winter ends
no more than your housecat.

So let me get my needed sleep.
Just get down off my hill.
No, you’re not welcome any more.
And oh, my name is Bill.

Not Phil.