The Day I Found a Friend

The latest Dinosaur Daily had an ad for a pet brontosaurus. I sniffed, “don’t they get this right? They’re not brontosauri anymore. That’s so 20th century.” Then my attention fell upon an ad for a stegosaurus that needed a home. Not only was she potty-trained, she made a good guard dinosaur and she did tricks like juggling, magic, and performing original poetry.

I jumped up and ran to the phone, for I for one did not jump on the boulder cell phone train. Instead, I opted to keep my classic Tesla/Grapefruit can phone. I called the number and was greeted by a friendly voice who welcomed my virtual presence warmly, “Hello” she said.

“Hi. I’m calling about the stegosaurus.”

“Great. You’re our first caller. If you take her home today, we’ll throw in a Dog, the Bounty Hunter collar, and Iron Gym, and a few pieces of Anasazi pottery.”

“Well, that’s a good deal but I really want the steg…however, I’ll take the rest too.” I was not an idiot when free stuff just dropped in my lap.

“Here she comes via baby stork delivery.”

A full-size stegosaurus with a name tag that said Lucille Elizabeth Taylor came into the house, just as they said, carried by a stork. She licked my hand. I was hooked. To this day, she sits by me, even sleeping at the foot of my bed.