The Christmas That Almost Wasn't!

December 2020 – A Story-Poem Contest!!! – "Invalid Item"  45 Lines

It was blustery, with cold white stuff blowin'.
The weather, not the only thing brewin'.
The Naughty Elves had a still,
that they tended until,
even Santa cared naught for the snowin'

To see Frosty drunk was a comedy.
The hair of the dog was no remedy.
Booze went straight to his head,
Had to put him to bed.
In cold stores to protect his longevity!

Santa and Rudolph were both pretty lit.
Ol' Mrs. Claus didn't like that one bit.
She gaped at their madness,
with a touch of some sadness.
Crying, " now this has to stop, lick'ty-split".

Armed with an ax she went right to the shack,
where the Elves hid the still, way in the back.
A swing and a smash,
it was gone in a flash.
Reduced to a pile of tiny knickknacks.

She poured out the shine at the base of the tree,
ensuring the North Pole would soon be booze-free.
When then to her wondering glance,
the Christmas Tree started to dance.
Her heart skipped a beat, she yelled "oh dearie me"

A tree with a sloppy hangover,
with needles just dropping all over.
Is a sad sight to see,
and even sadder to be,
shades of green that's sickly moreover.

The party laid Santa quite low
His head seemed 'bout ready to blow
How to pilot a sleigh,
when tons eyelids did weigh.
Well, not even Santa could know.

Hot chocolate and cookies she baked in a flash.
With peppermint sticks taken right out of her stash.
She pampered and primped,
'til his beard was unlimped.
And away Santa flew at a dash

Now Santa's tasks are all done,
time for some rest in the sun.
He'll be back next year,
so be of good cheer.
Merry Christmas to all, everyone!

Authors Note ▼

lim·er·ick /ˈlim(ə)rik/ noun ~ a humorous, frequently bawdy, verse of three long and two short lines rhyming aabba, popularized by Edward Lear.