The Two Cooks

“Hi Uncle Jim, c’mon in.”
“Damn, Cole, I was knocking for an hour!”
“Right. I saw your car pull up five minutes ago…”
“Well, it felt like an hour. Is Gloria here yet?”
“For about two hours now, mostly arguing with Susan.”
“Let me guess, something about the turkey?”
“What a tough guess! Yeah, Jim, you could go referee the squabble…”
“Are you nuts, son? How about you pour me some bourbon instead.”
“Perhaps you are my wisest uncle… one Jack on the rocks coming up.”

“When we pull that bird, it will have traditional stuffing!”
“Traditional for who, Susan? Mine is just as traditional!”
“Yeah, for swamp people…”
“You should shut the hell up before I slap you. Dirty rice is used all over the south!”
“And when did Pennsylvania become part of the south?”
“The family is from the…”
“Bull! We’re from all over!
“And last year you made your crappy bread stuffing!”
“It’s the…”

“Thanks for closing the door, Cole. That was getting heated.”
“Same as every year. Anyone need a fresh drink?”
“I do!”
“Well, Tom, you live here, too. Can’t find the bar?”
“Prick…”
“C’mon Tommy, offer our guests a refill!”
“We got family, Cole, ain’t no guests here…”
“Well, you’re right. But we have one uncle here, one to go, and maybe Pop Pop, too.”
“I love your enthusiasm Cole, but that kitchen is a battle zone!”
“For the moment.”

“I’m no expert, but my wife sounds serious, Cole!”
“Yeah, they’re about to have a food fight, but not the fun kind,”
“It sounds like Susan and Gloria are coming to blows.”
“No, it’s not that bad…”
“Sure, Cole, not that bad?”
“Really, it’s fine. I have the solution.”
“Well?”
“There are two turkeys in the fridge, and we have two ovens... Let the games begin!”


WC:302