What to do with Us

“What are you saying, Len?”

“There are too many of you...your planet will not sustain the growth in numbers of Earthlings. You must find a way to reduce your population.”

Len was right. Earth’s finite resources meant by their calculations only two to three hundred years were left before population numbers would exceed the world's ability to provide...and the outcomes would be unthinkable.

“We have a plan, Buck, but it requires a culling of sorts. But, do not worry, the target populous will come from your lower socioeconomic groups. So, not only will you reduce human numbers, but reduce in the right areas of your society, making your DNA stronger and smarter. It’s the law of the jungle, Buck."

*******

The year was 1879. They had been observing us for millennia and felt a certain responsibility to help...to guide us away from an inevitable fate. They liked us, but never was there a more appropriate time to be cruel to be kind.

”The answer is already here Buck. You just have to do as we tell you, and not only will you be helping your fellow man ensure his future, but you will become rich in the process.”

*******

Buck Duke stared out the window of his office in North Carolina. He knew what he had to do. Len had provided the funds and a reason why. To deliberately poison millions of humans was only the beginning, adding chemicals to the tobacco to keep it ‘moist’. Then, overcome the resistance of certain states. Market his product as ‘healthy’ and ‘desirable’, and make women more ‘attractive’.

”It won’t kill them straight away, Buck, after all, whilst a man can produce...go to work and pay his taxes, he is beneficial to his society. But, once he attains the age of retirement when his contribution ends and he becomes a burden, that is when the years of smoking your product will terminate his life, gradually lessening the overall number of humans using Earth's resources and requiring sustenance.

"Of course, this will not always be the case. Some will die younger, and some will live full lives. But, even the ones who procreate in many instances will pass the habit onto their offspring, and over generations, will reduce your population in the target areas.”

*******

“Join forces with your competitor, Buck. They work for us too.”

And so, British American Tobacco and Imperial Tobacco took their pre-rolled product to the world.

*******

Over one hundred million humans have died from diseases caused by cigarette smoking since Buck and Len first met. And Buck Duke was not the only human Len encouraged into the program. Alcohol was another tool used to reduce the numbers, although its effects while being more direct, have only caused 1/5th of the death rate of cigarettes. But to Len, it all contributes to a more sustainable future for these wonderful creatures, the humans.