I wanna Be Adored - Chapter 1

Magic Bus - 1986

“I'm so nervous, I just sit and smile”

I have been staring at this sign for weeks now. Let’s face it I don’t have much else to do. This bus is full of the white noise of chatter but none if it involves me. I have been at this school for nearly a year now and I honestly don’t think anyone has noticed. Mum and Dad chose this one because it was the best one available and these lads at my old school were making my life hell. I suppose this is better? At least I am not constantly looking for places to hide or losing it at the front gate, much to the amusement of the other students … and some parents. No more bruises and scratches to explain away as self inflicted when only a few of them were. Not being invisible is definitely better than being a target.

“Make Love Not War,
Ask the Driver For Details”

I stared at the sign some more. Maybe the driver is part of a group? Or has some leaflets? He must share my ideas about the futility of war. Why else would he have the sign on his bus? I have chickened out of asking him so many times. Today is the day that I am going to be brave. Today is the day I am going to be someone else. I am going to reachout to a kindred spirit. He is an adult. I like adults. You know where you are with adults. Adults don’t do stuff just to be mean. My stop is coming up and I am going to do it.


“I would like the details of your ideas on pacifism” I said as bravely as I could while pointing at the sign.
“Do what kid?” he gruffed at me as i stood in front of the whole bus
I tried to speak louder, clearer but I am not sure I succeeded. “I would like the details of your ideas on pacifism” I repeated feeling the blood rushing to my skin all over my body. I felt as though I was being sucked into an invisible vortex as I turned to see so many mocking eyes on me.
“Yeah very funny kid” the driver gruffed again shaking his head “now piss off my bus”

I am not invisible anymore. Now everybody knows my name.