Happy Birthday

Ding dong!

Jacob's "Philosophy" textbook tumbled to the carpet as he jerked awake. He was sitting on his studio apartment's couch. Sleep had overcome him while cramming for today's test.

Ding dong!

Opening the apartment's door, a gorilla holding the strings of six brightly colored balloons asked, "You Jacob Lambert?"

"Yeah."

The gorilla sang in a muffled voice, "Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to You. Happy Birthday dear Jacob. Happy Birthday to you." Then the gorilla handed him the balloons.

"Are you wearing a face mask inside your gorilla suit?" asked Jacob.

"Crazy, huh?" said the gorilla. "I'm suffocating in here. If I pass out, could you pull my head off?"

"I guess so."

"Great." The gorilla handed him a box. "I hope you enjoy your ice cream cake. I kind a got held up by traffic, so I hope it didn't melt too badly."

The gorilla stood quietly.

"Thank you," Jacob said.

The gorilla stood quietly.

"My cake is melting," Jacob said. "Are you suppose to do something more?"

"Most people give me a tip. I'm not supposed to ask. But I got'ta pay for my own gas with this job."

"Okay. Let me put the cake in the freezer. I'll be right back."

Walking back toward the door, Jacob examined his wallet contents. All he had was a twenty. No way the gorilla was getting that. His eyes flitted about the apartment until they landed on a "tip".

Back at the door, Jacob said, "I don't have a tip in cash, but will this do?" He thrust out a banana.

Before the gorilla could react, Jacob thrust out his other hand revealing a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.

"Oh, man, it sure will." The gorilla snatched the bottle. This was followed a second later by him also snatching the banana. "Lunch," he said and left.

Looking at the microwave clock, he figured there was only time for a shower and pop tart before the exam. It was clear across campus in the auditorium. Got'ta social distance ya’ know. What a crummy 20th birthday. Stupid pandemic.

***

Later that afternoon, Jacob's mother called. "Did you get your birthday cake?"

"Yes, Mom, thank you."

"Did you like the gorilla? I could have selected a belly dancer or bikini girl. But I remember how much you loved your sock monkey from Aunt Mary."

"It was awesome. Thanks."

"I've arranged a Zoom party for you at 7:00 tonight." Jacob's mother said. "I've got a lot of people coming. I sent them all a package of Little Debbie Birthday Cakes."

Jacob appreciated her mother's efforts. He really did. But he was already feeling blue. Now he was depressed.

"Oh, it just occurred to me," said his mother, "I'll bet you don't have candles."

"I'm sure I don't," he replied.

"Please, Honey, can you get some? I want this party to be perfect for you."

"Sure. No problem." He wasn't depressed anymore. Now he was suicidal.

***

Jacob blew until all 20 candles were out. A grid of faces cheered and clapped from his computer screen.

"Okay everyone," said his mother, "let's open our Little Debbie cakes."

In each of the Zoom boxes, people did similar things. Some were opening their cakes. Some already had them plated. A few had baked their own cakes. Jacob moved the screen across multiple pages of grids. There were close to 45 people celebrating his birthday. Jacob had been feeling sorry for himself all day. But now his heart burned with love for these aunts, uncles, school friends, and neighbors.

His Aunt Mary held up a big cake with a lit candle on it. "A wish for you, Jacob," she said and blew it out.