What if I would tell you?

As our time together wanes,
I try to muster the words,
Or the courage, or both,
So I can say to you..

I know the words,
I think of the words,
But can I say the words?

Can my stupid self
Go away long enough
For me to say the words?

In the worst of times,
This has been the best of times.
A silly nickname, the wink of an eye,
Now I hate to see school end
for the first time in my life.
Thank you for the best year of my life.
I rescued you in art class
(just trying to be cool, like..),
I had a kind of blind love,
In a garden, a crowded avenue,
Or waiting to get the lights before a science film.

The thoughts which entered my mind
When I was teased about you, (didn’t mind that),
But those words.

It’s not like saying
I love the Cubs,
Or I love root beer,
But I love you.
Those words are beautiful.
Those words are scary.
They are words I want to say,
I need to say,
I have to say.

To the first and only girl
I ever wanted to say them to.
And if I said them…..
What would you do?

I know what I would want
You to do, what to say,
But that doesn’t mean
that is what would happen.
What if were
To frighten you away?
It might not be what
You were ready to say.

And if I were to say it?

46 lines.