Your Eyes

When I look into your eyes, I see such beauty, I see you have made it this far. I see that through the pain you have endured, yet you still lookup. You still point above and say, even the stars burn, some even fall to the earth. We've got a lot to learn, so why not enjoy it while we have it. We can not walk away so easily without making the difference we can. All we will do is dwell on what could have been. We could have loved someone, we could have been adventurous. So many things we could have. You became too strong, to fall back into the line of disappointment to others. You didn't want to leave a trail of broken promises. Wandering the idea of who you can determine yourself as.

Unable to hold a primary career. Watching as others forge their futures. Being unable to manage yourself as an independent adult. Wishing everything was truly easier. Drowning yourself in pitiful depression as you watch others move forward in what could have been for you. Having no desire to enlarge your horizon of success. Being afraid of the rejection, as you are not qualified. Disabling yourself to the improvement. Solidifying yourself towards the public eye. Wishing things would take a turn for the better, but alas, it never shows. Relying only on the survival instinct of getting through the day. You have failed. You just never hope someone else finds out.
You have failed as a person, a friend, a parent and a civil human being.

All you wanted was for things to fall into place. All you wanted was for someone to finally tell you, you're doing a great job, don't give up now. It'll never be worth it in the end if you do. For someone to finally rely on you. To maybe, just maybe, for once believe it when someone tells you you're worth it. You've been handed such a displeasing card in life. You have been through what others wish to never know the feeling of. What you finally had, was ripped from you in such grace, yet such terror. It ruined your trust entirely. It diminished every fibre of your right state of mind. You wanted to have faith in what used to be there. Somehow, make it come back. Every night you'd look to the sky and ask, who or whatever may be there, to finally listen to you. That once in your life, it's your turn to be heard. You ask, please, at least this one time, give me something to not dwell on. I want something I can be proud of. Something I can be appreciated for. I'm so tired. I just don't want to give up yet, I know there is something out there. Just show me.