Deconstruction of
the Human Psyche
People
are puzzles. Normally, they depict a self-image, and each piece is a
critical part of them. It takes considerable effort to connect all
the pieces in the right place and orientation to complete this
puzzle. Typically, they spend their whole lives in a futile attempt
to finish it. Most either leave it alone as a work in progress or
others help them to ambitiously operate on it. The fun part about
people lies in their structure: they are three-dimensional, extremely
complex, unfinished, and no one knows how to locate the missing
pieces. They appear straightforward and easy to solve at first, but
reveal a confusing jungle of holes and shoddy pieces made of even
smaller ones. It is rare to find complete, refined sections, and
difficult to find similar ones connected to it. They are visual
illusions, for the only way to see their holes would be to shift the
angle of perception. The depth of the intricacies appears
unfathomable. Ultimately it is left to the individual to stumble upon
missing pieces and solve their puzzle.
But what of the
observers: the ones who want to help solve the puzzles? Most simply
leave these messes alone because they do not want to lose themselves
in the jumble of puzzle pieces. Some, however, take an interest in
them because they see a potential benefit. They recognize
similarities between others and themselves, and compare: gathering
every bit of information. The difference then is what they choose to
do with it. Some use it as a guide to their missing pieces because
knowing which ones are needed aids in the process of finding them.
Similarly, some shine light on "solved" sections in themselves as
an example to help others fill their gaps. Some accept that others
need to find their own way to attain what is missing, and choose to
simply observe. Another viable option would be to collect
compatibilities regarding solved sections or lack thereof, and use
this to establish a base between both persons. A way to build on the
foundation would be to combine these puzzle solving strategies.
Establishing this symbiotic relationship could prove beneficial in
building strong relationships.
Figuring this out as
I grew up was an interest I never aged out of. The roots of these
thoughts, however, came from my parents. They would fight fairly
often when I was young, and at first I was so devastated and afraid
that all I could do was lock myself in my room and comfort my younger
brother. This pattern would continue through my younger years, until
I gained enough courage to leave my bedroom. My father always told me
that change starts when you are sick and tired of being sick and
tired. I did not want my parents' breakdowns to ruin our nights any
longer, so I started to hear through the screams and shatters of
household items. I began to listen.
The muffled yelling
became distant and clear as I moved from my safe bedroom to the
hallways, where I could be seen. I stared blankly at the warm light
soaked on the plaster walls of our apartment, and as my vision faded
I honed into the voices. The booming yells of my father and the
piercing screeches of my mother reverberated throughout the house.
The emotional pain jabbed at me with every word. I only listened for
short amounts of time as the terror of being spotted overcame me, but
I kept going back. Fear still dominated me like a ball and chain in
my mind, so never once did I dare to take those few steps around the
corner. But I still listened, analyzing my parents' words.
I tried to
rationalize the reason for their argument through the salty taste of
my tears and the exchanges of screams that made my stomach lurch. I
tried to used my junior high literary education to understand the
disconnect between my parents' words and reasoning. I peered into
the deeper meanings. I tied their experiences to why they acted:
weaving that into the rest of my observations, and formed analytical
strategies. This was the foundation of my method to perceive others.
In high school, I
applied the same techniques on my close friends. I found patterns in
them, and occasionally adjusted my mindset to fit their patterns and
give them some laughs. After my friends I shifted to acquaintances
and strangers. Typically, I try to configure a rough idea of who they
are, then continue to poke at them without doing so too strongly.
Asking questions and listening rather than only talking about your
life works well when making friends. I listen to each person's
story and sympathize with them to generate an emotional bond. This is
observing others' puzzles. Poking around them is viewing them at
different angles to see through your illusions about them. Listening
to them and exchanging stories is figuring out which pieces are
missing.
I only use my
techniques to make new friends, but if I wanted to, I could figure
someone out and strike them where it hurts--like
a martial art. It may be considered a low blow to analyze someone so
I can spiritually fight them. Additionally, some may think that I am
manipulating myself and others so I can befriend them, and leeching
off their characters to improve mine. This is fair, although I do not
see the harm in doing these. However, my understanding is subject to
change. Currently, if someone is initiating this type of fight, then
I would do it in self-defense. On the other hand, I maintain and
continue to build upon my qualities through my own devices, and I let
fate bring me to those pieces which solve my puzzle. I only make
minor changes in myself to have others feel comfortable around me.
Again, my goal is real friendship, not to project a fake image of
myself to make someone befriend that fade. Overall, I believe my
methods are valid.
I believe anyone can
become anybody's friend because studying others is a learnable
skill. It does not need a traumatic push as motivation to start
either. All it needs is the right mindset and a goal. Your motive
could be as simple as trying to be friends with your roommate or
being able to understand your friends better. Likewise, a powerful
leader may use it to establish diplomatic ties with another country.
Whatever the cause or scale, forming relationships will prove
advantageous throughout life, so it is good to start learning people
now.
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