Aghori: Journey from zero to infinite 2

I woke up with flies buzzing on my face, the pungent smell of burnt flesh remained me about the place I was sleeping, and also about that creepy man, where was he? I looked towards his spot, he was sleeping. I was alive! I placed one of my hands inside my underwear, I felt my money where I left it, so were my other stuffs, but my water bottles were filled with water. I could recall drinking the last drop of water from my second bottle.
I moved my eyes to my left, to the source of the flies, a piece of flesh was kept there on a long leaf. It looked fresh and disgusting. I was thirsty and hungry. But I was not going to eat that shit. I drank the water from my bottle. Water tasted strange. I was deeply moved by that baba’s generosity. He not only fetched the water for me, but also gave me a share of his food. Maybe he was not that bad.
Now was the time to go, to be out of this forest and specially this graveyard. But my inside was resisting me. I should thank him for his hospitality; it would be rude to go like this, after the kindness he showed to me. I was lost and chances of getting lost again were pretty high. Right now I was having a human near me. If I leave him, maybe I would be in more ugly position. I decided to stay till he wakes, after that I would thank him, ask for the direction of the city and would then leave.
He was sleeping, so I decided to take a walk in the woods, just to stretch my legs. I kept track of my moments, last thing I needed was to get lost again. I filled marijuana in my chillum and started smoking. I was hungry and marijuana wasn’t sufficient enough to kill my hunger. So I started searching for fruits. I saw few mango trees, they were hard to climb. I started aiming mangoes with rock. After a long session of rock throwing I got enough mangoes on the ground.
But my happiness soon faded away because all of them were raw. I ate some of them, but they were sour. Heavy hearted I tossed the remaining mangoes in my bag and walked back to the graveyard.
The man was awaked now, he was sitting at his spot and smoking, I could easily recognize the familiar smoke of marijuana. He saw me coming but didn’t say anything. Now was the time to move on.
“Babaji Namaste! Thanks for letting me stay in your territory and also thanks for the water and food.” In response of my thanks he gave me a stare and then nodded. Maybe that was his way of responding to thanks.
“Babaji I am lost in this forest, can you please put me in the right direction? I just want to get out of this forest.” I tried to be as polite as possible.
After observing me for a while, he finally spoke up,
“We all are lost till we find him, I am glad that you realized this at young age.” Find whom? His words were senseless.
“Baba, which side is the nearest city?”
“City? I don’t know son, I am living here for years and I am not allowed to leave this place.” Either he was a mad or was trying to crack me up.
“You aren’t allowed to leave? By whom?”
“He instructed me to stay here and wait for his commands. He has a job for me.” He said happily. His smile was as frightening as his words. Clearly he was a mad man.
With no help and no hope I left that mad baba at his graveyard and decided to make a way out myself. The forest was dense and large, but there is an end to everything. If I would go straight in any direction, sooner or later I would reach the end of this shit. I grabbed a dry leaf from the ground and tossed it towards the sky, let the wind decide my path.
I watched the leaf flying carelessly for a few moment and then it landed at my right, I opened the cap of my water bottle, drank water and at last walked towards my right. The needles of my watch were motionless and the time was stuck at eight forty. Very well, what a perfect day for my watch to stop. Everything was going against me.
The sun kept moving, from my back to my top and then came in front of me. Position of sun was giving me a rough estimate of time, I was surly walking for six or seven hours, or maybe even more. But still I was clueless, within an hour or two, sun would set and that was just the beginning of my bad luck.
I was in need of my senses, so I was on no marijuana deal with my brain, but the continuous attack of my memories were making it hard for my brain to concentrate. At the very moment a huge snake passed in front of me. I was paralyzed with fear. He didn’t show any interest in me, but his presence in the forest generated a different level of fear in me. With my legs shaking badly I sat on a nearby rock. The only possible way to calm my brain was to slow it down, so unwillingly I mixed the marijuana and tobacco, filled it my chillum and inhaled it. ‘Bum Bhole’. I was so tired of my journey that few drags of marijuana were enough to send me in my dreams.

I was in a room, or maybe in a hall. It was dark everywhere, what the hell was that place. The moment I decided to walk, smoke started generating from the floor. Soon I was surrounded by a think curtain of smoke, and then out of nowhere, I heard a voice.
“What are you doing here?” The voice sent chills in my body. The fear generated in me, made me speechless.
“Why are you running away like this?” The voice enquired again.
“Who are you?” Finally sound came out of my dry mouth.
“Your destiny.”
“My destiny?”
“Yes, why are you running from your happi-”
I woke up with a loud noise of thunderstorm. It was raining, but not only raining, it was raining like hell and then it struck me. It was dark everywhere, Holy crap! Now I realized how deep shit I had landed myself in. The dream I just had was a strange one, it was all my imagination. Probably that was side effects of consuming marijuana. At the same time, a wolf howled somewhere in the woods. The location of the noise was unknown but who cares about that, the howl was sufficient enough to make me pee in my pant.
I was coward enough to pee my pant, but not dumb to give my life so easily. Some people say, ‘when you are in danger your mind stops working', I don't know whether they were wrong or I was the exception because my mind was working more brightly than ever. I had read somewhere that Wolfs can't climb straight trees, and I was sure that they could smell. What if they would smell me? I should remove my scent and the only way to do that was to produce a smell more powerful than this. Without a second thought I made a cut on my hand with the throne I grabbed from the nearest vine, the pain I had was nothing to the fear generated in me after I heard the second howl, this time more clear, which meant they were approaching.
I walked several steps in the opposite direction, away from the tree on which I had planned to stay. I was thinking to go more and more but afraid of time up, I stopped, grabbed mud from wet ground and cemented it on my cut. After that I used leaves and vines to hold that mud there. When the hand was done, I rolled several times on mud to get as muddy as I possibly could. Then I ran towards the tree, I was surprised on my legs, I was running like never before. I climbed the tree, fuck the snakes, there were larger threats coming. When I was on a safe height, I waited.
I tried to sit in a position as uncomfortable as my body could easily afford, because the last thing I needed was to fall asleep and fall from that tree. It was dark everywhere, but since I was there for so long, my eyes were adjusted in that darkness. My watch was also fucking with me, so it was hard for me to tell the time I spent waiting there, but after half an hour or more, they arrived.
I had heard that wolf travel in pack. So I was prepared to see multiple of them. It was dark everywhere, so they were hard to spot, but the moments they were making were helping me to track them. Firstly two of them arrived, they were in no hurry, it was like they were putting every paw after a calculation. Then three more joined them. The first one was the biggest of them all, he moved ahead and sniffed the ground. Then he started approaching towards my tree, my heart was about to burst.
I was sitting on the tree, breathing as slowly as possible and I was careful enough to not move even a muscle. The wolf which arrived with that bigger one got trapped in my trap. He sniffed my blood and then started following the trail I had made, others jumped in that direction too and soon they were gone.
I had taken a breath of relief when out of nowhere the biggest one was back. He started circling around the rocks and finally decided to rest on the very same rock I was sleeping few hours back. Every passing moment was increasing tension in my mind, what if they will decide to stay here for long?
My believe in god was shaken after the arrival of my stepmom in my house, for nearly eight years I believed god was a myth and never prayed to him.
But that night I prayed to him, god if you exist then please save me from this mess, just let me survive this night, and I will believe in you.
Then without a warning, the hound howled, it completely took me off guard, by a miracle I was able to control my cry as well as balance. But even though the howl was frightening, there was something in that sound, that sound was having a sad note in it. Maybe it was my imagination or just coincidence, but after listening that howl I felt that he was in pain, mental or physical whatever it was but I was damn sure, he was in pain.
A few moments later I heard another howl, from another hound and that sound was coming from a distant source. At that sound, the wolf on the rock stood up and ran towards the source. Was this over? Were they gone? Afraid enough to even move a muscle; I sat on that tree until the sun rose. That night was one of the scariest nights of my life. I thought it would be the longest night of my life, how very wrong I was.
The sun was in the sky and everything was visible, but my legs were not ready to go down. What if they were hiding behind the bushes? My fear was not letting me get down. Sun came on the top of the sky, which meant it was mid-day and I was still waiting for a signal of wolves in the bushes. But they were animals, they can’t be smart and patient enough to plan and wait for me.
So unwilling I climbed down of that tree, and for the first time in my life, I thanked to god, I still wasn’t assured of his existence, but I decided to fulfill my part of the deal.
It was afternoon already, and I wasn’t in mood to spend one more night in that deadly forest. Snakes, wolves what else was left to see? Ever since childhood I was keen to visit zoo, to see wild animals. My that desire died that morning.
The strong pain in my stomach reminded me about my meal. In last two days I was living only on water, marijuana and raw mangoes. That wasn’t going well. I would have to cross this forest before sunset, or else I was finished. I hadn’t brushed my teeth for a long, but that was not a trouble, I was not a super hygiene type person, neither was taking bath that important for me, but excretion was a must process and I was feeling a bit awkward using leaf instead of water to clear my butt. Finally I was done and relaxed, now time to focus on getting out of this mess.
But which way to go? My night’s adventure made it impossible for me to keep tracks of the direction, one wrong turn would be enough to get me in trouble. Sun was not visible in the sky. Clouds were playing villan for me. And then I heard a click in my head, how smart I was! I grabbed a leaf, wet because of the rain, but still useful enough to help me. And I launched it in the air, as yesterday, wind guided my leaf towards my right.
Wind doesn’t changes its direction in a day, so that was supposed to be the right path, and I ran towards the right, towards my future.
I kept walking followed by occasional running towards my goal, I was determined to get out of this mess before twilight. My weak lungs were soon out of breath, to give myself some rest I took a halt. My bag was still wet because of the rain, but thankfully I had invested a lot of money while buying my bag. It was super waterproof, everything kept inside were safe, a bit of moisture was there, but everything was ok inside.
My clock was dead but according to the surrounding I was clear that the approx time was between fife thirty and six. I was sure about one more night stay in this forest. But my mind was resisting to go further. So just to calm my mind, I decided to have a final check. So I climbed a tree, and started searching for a road.
All I could see was greenery, trees everywhere. Then again, out of nowhere a trail of smoke! I was taken aback for a while. But this time it would surely be a civilized human. I decided to take the risk, whatever the odds were, it was better to be with a companion than to be alone. So I walked towards the smoke.








****







Each path in wood was the same, so the path was looking familiar to me, but I got a shock when I smelled the same pungent smell. Unwillingly, I walked towards the fire, and my fear came true when I saw the same mad man sitting near the fire. This time eyeing at me, as if he was waiting for me.
“How the fuck you came here?” I was so shocked to see him that I spoke to him in English.
“I have already told you that I am not allowed to leave this fence, you are the one who came back to me.” Him speaking English wasn’t the greatest shock I had that moment, I came to him?
“You are lying, I was going in the straight direction. The wind can’t lie.”
“You were following wind, and wind is controlled by him. He wants you here. So he would keep bringing you back.” He was smiling at me, his smile was clearly a welcome sign of trouble.
“And who is he?” I knew the answer already.
“He is the creator and the destroyer. He is the one who controls everything in this world.”
“Look baba, you don’t know what I had gone through in last forty eight hours, wolves, snakes, hunger and rain, I was an inch away from death. So please don’t start this god bullshit. Do you have something to eat? I am dying.”
“An inch away from death?” And he started laughing.
“What are you laughing at?” This freak was freaking me out.
“How was the death, I mean do you loved it?”
“Loved the death? Look here, I am warning you, don’t fuck with me. Otherwise you would love your death, DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT!!”
“I already love my death, and yes I have loads of food to eat” and he gave me a piece of animal he was burning.
“Don’t you have something vegetarian? Something which wasn’t killed? Something which wasn’t snatched from his family?” He clearly wasn’t a baba.
“Don’t worry, she wasn’t killed, I waited for her to die. After that I fetched it for you.”
“For me? Baba I came here few minutes back, don’t try to fool me.”
At this he stared me for a while, his red eyes were hard to look into, after a while, he produced something from his side, rubbed it in his hands, muttered few words and then moved towards me.
“Eat this baccha.” And he handed me greenish brown clay.
“What’s this?” was he trying to poison me?
“You would know yourself.” He said with a smile.
I observed it for a moment, what was happening with me? Ever since I left my house everything was going strange, it was all like a strange dream. What should I do?
I decided to try it, the worst part would be my death! I was ready to give it a shot and I ate it. Within few seconds my throat was burning, I grabbed my bottle, but it was no help, the more I drank the worst it felt. Fuck you baba!
My eyelids, unable to take anymore closed themselves. My mind was going numb, and then out of nowhere, light! The brightness was filled everywhere. I felt myself going high up in the air, more high, more high! I saw the stars, the endless space and the beautiful universe.
It was so beautiful, my body felt weightless, as it was said to be in space. I was flying, that was by far my best dream. The smell of burning flesh was replaced with a strange kind of smell. Words weren’t sufficient to describe that smell. And that smell was occupying my mind. I was in paradise, and was still going up. And then without a warning I felt someone grabbing my leg, I was been pulled down, as if someone was pulling me downwards. And I opened my eyes.
I was full of sweat and that baba was standing right next to me, still smiling.
“What was that?” I enquired.
“You loved that?” he answered my question with a question of his own.
“Hell yeah, but what was that?”
“Death.”
“Death?”
“I pulled you back just before you were at the extent to see it.” He said.
“Then I want to see it, send me back. I want to go.” All I wanted at that moment was to be in that endless space forever.
“It’s not the perfect time, but now you saw the place you would go after death. Still afraid of death?” He was fucking kidding with me.
“If this is what death means, I want to die right now. That place was millions times better than this shit world.” I let the venom fill my last words.
“Shit world? This world is the most beautiful thing he ever created. You just need an eye to see it.” He sat next to me.
“Then maybe I should visit an eye specialist to get my eyeballs replaced.” I said smiling, this man was mysteriously wonderful. All my life I hated everyone, everyone I ever talked to was insulted by me. But this man was earning respect in my eyes. Who was he?
“Who are you?” I heard my voice speaking for my mind.
“I am Aghori.” He said.
“Aghori?” What was that?
“You never heard of Aghori?” He was a bit puzzled by this news.
“Nah.”
“In a sentence, Aghori means someone who has controlled his body and reflexes, someone who is living but yet is dead already.”
Who is living but dead already? What the fuck that meant?
“And how to be Aghori?” I wanted to know more about this thing.
“You would have to kill your all sense, you would have to control your Maya, you would have to kill your each and every desire.” He was analyzing me with his red eyes.
“Baba you lost me in that last part, what does that meant.”
“Ok let’s take an example.”
“Sure let’s do it.” My all hatred for him was dissolving and respect was replacing it.
“Who is Rafel?” A chill came in my body, and I launched myself away from him.
“H-o-w do you about Rafel?” Shock was visible in my voice.
“You kept repeating that name while sleeping.” That explains it, so he was not a mind reader type person.
“Oh! He is my dog.”
“You love him?”
“The only living being I love is him.”
He smiled at my statement.
“So if I give you a wish, anything. Even a huge house full of money, anything you can dream, I would make it true. Then what would you ask?” His eyes was burying inside me.
“Undoubtedly I would choose my Rafel. Together we can survive even without money.”
“Now consider that Rafel was not in your life, Rafel is totally erased from your memory. Then what would have you asked?”
Where was he leading me?
“Then I would have asked for someone who love me.”
At this he looked towards the sky, and muttered,
“Interesting.”
“What’s interesting baba?” I was puzzled.
“So you would have asked for someone who love you the most?”
“Indeed.”
“That would make you happy? You wouldn’t desire for anything else?”
“Humans are greedy, the more they get the more they desire, desire has no end. So I would be happy for a while, until new desire would born.”
“You are wise for your age.” He was pleased by me.
“I still didn’t understood, where you were leading me?” I wanted to know more.
“Son, Aghori is nothing but someone who has controlled his desire, with nothing to look forward, except the all mighty. The only thing Aghori look forward is him and nothing else.”
“You say you don’t have any desire left in you?”
“No, there is still few things I need to master. I have master most of my desires except the most essential ones.” Again he looked at the sky. I too followed his gaze. It was totally dark everywhere. The sky was now filled with clouds; it was going to rain again.
“And what is that desire?” I enquired.
He was silent. With his eyes fixed at the sky.
“Would you teach me? To control my desire?” I thought to give it a shot.
Finally he moved his eyes at me.
“It’s not so easy, you would have to do things you can’t even think of, and you can even die in that process.” His tone was a serious one.
“I am not scared of death now, I know what is waiting for me after death, in fact I am looking forward to it.” A smile lit up at my face. And the first time that baba laughed, he laughed out loud.
“Go to sleep and rethink about it. We would discuss about it some other time.” And he started walking back to his spot. “And you can eat it that would give you energy to go on.”
“Hunger is also a desire, I would try to kill it first.” I was already in it.
He turned and looked at me, then smiled, “we would take care of hunger later, first kill your hatred for flesh.”
“Now how the hell you got to know that? I am sure I didn’t talked about my hatred for flesh in my sleep.”
“Your face is not that hard to read. Now finish your meal and go to sleep. We have a wonderful day ahead.” And he sat next to fire.
I looked at that piece, he was correct. The biggest thing I need to overcome was my disgust for the flesh. I took it, it was just a fucking flesh. It won’t bite me, neither would it kill me. Let’s go for it. And I took a small bite. It wasn’t killed, she died natural death. So I was not feeling guilty, but still, that disgusting feeling of chewing it again and again!
The baba was looking at me, I should not fail. I was badly in need of controlling my desire. I chewed it till it slid down my throat. Time for the second bite. Bite by bite I kept eating till it was all finished, I was not feeling well but still I managed to finish it. I was impressed by myself. My stepmom would have died with shock on my achievement. I looked at my Guru, waiting for his appreciation. But he didn’t showed that much interest in my achievement.
“Now go to sleep, prepare your mind for the upcoming battle.” He shouted from behind the fire.
I laid straight, looking at the sky. It was already drizzling. And the entire sky was covered with dark clouds, it was not a passing shower, a storm was coming. I wished that storm to kill me, then I would be able to go back that space. The beauty I saw there was even out of my imagination. Why Guruji brought me back? I would have been happier there.
I sat down and opened my bag, pulled out the pouch of tobacco and marijuana, prepared the mixture, filled it in the roll and dragged the smoke in my lungs. “Bum Bhole”
I heard Guruji repeating my words and I thought it to be the perfect occasion to ask,
“Guruji?”
“Yes son?” He was not shocked by me calling him Guruji.
“What was the name of herb you gave me to eat?” I would buy that, then there would be no need to go through this process.
He laughed at my question.
“You won’t be able to buy it, it’s priceless. It is prepared by a specific method and specific skills are needed to make it. Unskilled process would left you in unconscious state. You would neither be here nor there, so be aware son. One can burn It’s tongue while drinking hot milk.”
I was ashamed at my foolishness. I sat in the corner and started enjoying my marijuana in silence. The rain drops were now getting bigger in size, so was their pace. The fire burning was having a constant battle with the water for its survival.
“Not feeling sleepy?” He Asked me.
“I was, but not anymore.” That herb had shaken me from top to bottom, my entire perspective was changed now.
“We have a long journey to start from tomorrow onwards, you need to be mentally prepared for it. Come to me, I have something for you.”
Long journey? I walked to him and as instructed sat next to him. He was smoking marijuana too, but his chillum was very different. It was three times larger than mine and was made was something strong. Mine was just an ordinary five rupee chillum made by mud. But his chillum was surely a thing.
He handed me his chillum and asked me to drag the smoke from it, I had hardly taken two drags when I fall, next thing I remembered was sunlight hitting my face. Sun was already at top of my head. That meant afternoon. Guruji was sitting right next to me. And I found him analyzing me when I looked at him.
“How was your sleep?” He enquired.
I was wet from top to bottom, the nights storm was powerful perhaps, but why wasn’t I awaken by that? The sun did a great job, but still my clothes were wet. I decided to change my cloths, and searched for my bag.
“Searching for your belongings?” Guruji asked smiling.
“Yes.”
“You won’t find it, you should get rid everything and move on.”
“But I had everything in it, how would I survive without it?” my five thousand seventy rupees were hidden in the inner pouch of my bag, and my marijuana?
“Survival is what you are going to master firstly. Don’t worry, you have a very long time left to die, so you would survive.”
“My all money was in it.”
“It’s all Maya son, don’t let her control her. In fact you should control her. Should we begin?” He hanged his Jhola on his shoulders and instructed me to follow him.
“But earlier you told me that you weren’t allowed to leave this fence?” I could recall out farewell scene of our first encounter.
“But now I am allowed to do so, just to be perfectly clear there are few things I want you to understand perfectly clearly. Are you listening?” He looked at me.
“Yes Guruji.”
“From now onwards, always keep your eyes and ears open. Your diet, dose and actions would be performed on my command.”
“Check.”
“If I ask you to eat, you would eat. If I ask you to sleep you would sleep.”
“Check.”
“If I ask you to starve, you would starve. If I forbid you to sleep, you would have to stay awake for days.”
“Hmm, check.”
“Now final thing, everything I perform, you would watch in silence, only watch. You would not try to perform it on your own. And most important thing, being curious is good but if I ask you not to disturb me, then you would not disturb me. It can cost you your life. And I won’t be able to save you. I am not that skilled, I still have a lot to learn. I would have never done this if Mahakaal wouldn’t have asked me to do so.”
“Guruji, your words are law for me from now. I pledge.”
And we began our journey, a journey which I started as a zero and was very unknown about the fact it would lead me into.


*****


“Guruji? Can I ask you something?” I had tons of questions to ask.
“Son, feel free to ask me anything which comes in your mind, if it would be appropriate time for it, then I would answer, otherwise you would have to wait for it.” Guruji was walking ahead of me, guiding me way out of the forest.
“You once told me, that you were unaware of the exit of the forest.”
“Yes I remember saying so.”
“Then how come you are guiding the way now?” That question was killing me ever since we started our journey.
“Even now I am unaware of the exit.” He was so confusing sometimes.
“I didn’t got you.”
“Leave me, let’s consider about you. You left me that day, and walked away from me. But later returned back? Didn’t you?”
“Yes. How?” This forest was making me crazy.
“It’s all his wish. He guided you back, because he had greater plans for you. And now also he would help us, so just leave all worries aside. And ask him to guide the way out.”
I laughed at me, few days back I was a careless kid, with one sided vision. God was a bed time story for me, and now I was on an unknown path to discover god. Either I filled as fool my entire life, or I was going to end up being a fool. In any case, I was homeless, jobless, and lonely. That was the ideal situation to test the existence of God, the most it would cost me few months of my life. That was an affordable cost.
“What are you thinking son?” Guruji sensed my silence.
“Guruji to be honest, I still don’t believe in god.”
“Then why are you following me son?” Even though his back was visible to me, I could hear a smile in his voice.
“I am following you because I want to believe in god. And the most important thing is that I believe in you, so if you say god exist then I want him to exist.”
“Have you heard about Kalidas?” Guruji asked me.
“I can’t be perfectly sure, but maybe he was a Hindi poet.” That name was familiar to me.
“Yes he was poet, but he was a vidvan in Sanskrit. Sanskrit is our real and ancient language.” Guruji corrected me.
“I don’t even know abc of Sanskrit.” I was ashamed of myself.
“Don’t worry son, Kalidas was a fool, he wasn’t even able to speak that good Hindi.”
“Then how come he became so great?” I would use that trick too.
“Kalidas is the best example of devotion and love, you want to hear his story?”
“Indeed Guruji, I would to hear stories like that. Keep in mind that I am a beginner so everything you would teach me would be new to me.”
“Ok then listen, Kalidas was a huge devotee of Ma Kali. He was very intelligent, and his only desire was to meet Ma once. He worshipped Ma entire life. He even cut his head as a sacrifice to Ma Kali. But Ma didn’t came to him. He was born again, this time too he sacrificed his head to Ma. This process continued till his ninth birth.
After nine times on his tenth rebirth, he was born foolish. Past nine times, he was born intelligent and was devoted to Ma, but this time he was so foolish that his daily works were out of his reach, so devotion to Ma was out of equation. He was living his miserable life happily. He was a woodcutter, he was fooled by cunning peoples, still he was happy. Because he was not having any desire, not even to meet his Ma Kali.
There was a princess in that kingdom, she was very proud of her intelligence, and she was indeed a beauty. Every man who got eye on her, fall in her love. But there was a requirement to marry her. Anyone desired to marry her was supposed to have a Sastarth (debate) with her, but the trick was that if the challenger was defeated then he was killed.-”
“Killed?” I shocked at the news of the existence of such type of insanity.
“Yes killed, many princes came to marry her but were defeated and hence killed. The King’s temper reached at his peak one day, and he ordered his ministers to search the stupidest man of the kingdom. Meanwhile Kalidas was busy chopping the very same branch he was sitting on. He was discovered and was presented in front of the King.
The king tested him personally and was shocked to discover the existence of such a stupid man. It was all Kali Ma’s creation; she created him the stupidest human even born. Princess was tricked to marry Kalidas and the wedding night arrived. When the princess discovered his stupidity she not only rejected him but also humiliated him.
Even though Kalidas was stupid but still he was having a human heart, he felt humiliated and the pain was felt directly in his heart. He ran out of the palace and kept running until he reached Ma Kali’s temple. There he decided to end his life and started banging his head at the temple’s step. As soon as the first drop of his blood touched the ground. Ma herself arrived in front of him.
She not only fulfilled his desire but also promise to be with him forever and she was always present on his tongue. Kalidas was now totally changed, from a stupid to the most intelligent person on the planet. He won back the love of the princess and was known as a biggest poet of all time.”
“So finally he got what he dreamt of?” I asked happily.
“If you would devote yourself to Ma then she would do anything for you.”
“But Guruji, you worship Lord Shiva na? Then how you know so much about Ma Kali?”
At this Guruji stopped walking and turned to me.
“Universe is based on duality, everything is in pair, without Ma you won’t exist. Mahakaal is our father but Ma kali is our mother.”
“Ahh, now I got you.” And I heard a horn. A truck was somewhere near.
“Guruji! We are near to road!” my happiness was not hidden in my excitement.
“Yes were are. How can’t we be when the all might himself is making path for us.”
And within few minutes we were on road.
“Guruji we should wait, there are many trucks passing by, we would easily get ride from someone.” I suggested.
“No we won’t.” Guruji was looking lost.
“Why? It wouldn’t cost us.”
“We are supposed to make our own path, it’s up to him to lead us. And we aren’t supposed to disturb humans, the less people we meet the better for us. Follow me.” He crossed the road, and entered in forest again. Again!
Sky was already filled with stars, and it was clear. That was a good news, we got a dead rabbit on the way. Ants were trying to have a dinner arrangement when Guruji picked him up.
“You can rest here. Let me collect wood to set up a fire.” Guruji instructed me.
Last night there was a huge storm so there were kilos of woods, but they were all wet because of the rain, it was hard to find dry wood. After a long search we find enough to keep the fire running for night. Guruji set the fire and started cooking rabbit.
I was shocked by my improvement this time the smell was not bothering me. Guruji gave me a part of rabbit and threw the rest.
“What about you Guruji?” I enquired.
“I can survive without food for now.” He replied.
“I can survive too.” I was not going to eat without my guru.
“Don’t try to be smart. You eat when I ask you to eat. Now focus on your food.” His tone was clearly a threatening one.
“Only if you say so.” The flesh was still disgusting but I knew I would be use to it after few more days. My bag was gone, and so was my marijuana. I was not an addict but still watching my Guruji smoke made my lungs thirsty too. But I kept my desire aside and focused on the rabbit. I was feeling thirsty but there was no water available.
“Guruji? Do you have water?” Guruji produced my bottle out of his Jhola and handed it to me. I drank like a horse, when three quarter of the bottle was empty, I decided to take a chance.
“Guruji? What did you gave me to smoke last night? That was really powerful.” I was trying to start the topic so that he would allow me to smoke again.
“What’s your age son?” Was Guruji going to start a lecture on the drawbacks of smoking?
“Nineteen.”
“You love smoking marijuana?” He asked me.
“Yes, sometimes.”
“Why?” He was hitting me with back to back questions.
“It helps me control my emotions and mind.” “But I know that it’s harmful for health.” I added.
“No son, everything born from earth is marvelous and consuming them would never harm you. But everything is bound to be used with significance knowledge.”
“You mean to say that marijuana is not harmful?” He was surely kidding.
“Everything in this world is harmful if not used in a significant manner, and nothing in this world is harmful if you know the use of it.”
His words were going out of my head.
“Let’s take an example, which subject you liked the most in you school?” Guruji asked me.
“Physics, ask me anything in physics.” I was gold medalist in state level physics quiz competition.
“Let’s take example of electricity then, electricity is marvelous, it had made human life so extra ordinary. But the same electricity can give you a shock and can kill you, or it can also burn you house. You may argue that it’s all coincidence, but in fact it’s our own foolishness. You won’t receive a shock until you are foolish enough to let the current flow in you, and your house would never burn if you would take care of the circuit. So gain or loss, it’s all up to us.”
“Yes Guruji, but electricity is made by human, isn’t it.”
“Electricity is not but movement of charges, and charges aren’t created by humans, let’s take another example, name me any vegetable.”
“Potato” That was the first vegetable came in my mind.
“Potato is grown inside earth, and is eaten as a main food in many places, but do you know that if not cooked in a proper manner potato is a slow poison?”
“Slow poison?” I was very fond of eating potatoes.
“Yes my son, it can not only cause several problems in your stomach but can also damage your intestine.”
“Wow! You should be a doctor.” He was really very wise.
“I was an assistant professor of botany in past.”
“Wow, awesome Guruji!”
He started smoking again. And I decided to take a small nap.
“Guruji? So what’s the perfect way to consume marijuana?” my eyes were closed but my mind was still curious.
“Tomorrow, right now you should take rest. I hope we have enough conversation for tonight. Now I am going on my sadhana, don’t disturb me till morning.”
“Hmm, good night Guruji.” And I tried to jump in the endless sea of dreams.