Emmy, the Prognosticator

“Did you know the RMS Empress of Ireland had a cat named Emmy who never missed a voyage until May 28, 1914 when Emmy refused to go aboard. The ship left without her and sunk the next day.”

“Yeah, I read that somewhere.”

“You did?”

“No, I’m being a smart-ass, of course I never knew that. Why would I?”

“It was a rhetorical question to start a conversation.”

“About?”

“Ireland.”

“Crap!”

“No, I want to talk. We have the money and you’re owed a lot of time off after that last push. We can spend a week in Dublin then a week in Glasgow so you can visit your grand daughter. Maybe we could stop somewhere much warmer that has nude beaches.”

“Oooh, you are so persuasive, you should be a lawyer”

“I am a lawyer, fool. Well, I was until I retired”

“Ohh, yeah, that’s right. And an MFA. I’m always afraid to show you what I write, you might have me arrested.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“I’ll make some grammar error and it’ll be a punishable offense.”

“You are an idiot, but you’re my idiot and that forgives a lot. I’ll even forgive your total ignorance about grammar and punctuation.”

“My third grade teacher called it.”

“What?”

“She wrote on my report card, I still have it, ‘Paul would be an excellent student if it weren’t for his immense lack of effort.’ She just never understood my Immense efforts. She didn’t know what an AU was, or a Parsec.”

“What?”

“An AU is an Astronomical Unit, the distance from the center of the sun to the center of the earth.”

“I love it when you talk technical at me. Do go on.”

“A Parsec is 3.26 light years.”

“Ooooh, you are smooth. Much, much more.”