Notes On The Fridge

Hi Jack.
Shepherd's pie in the fridge. Nuke it 3 mins on high. Leave some beer for me.
Lynn.

Thanks Lynn. Sorry about the beer, I'm just off to buy some more.
Jacky

Jack
I expect YOU to have done YOUR washing up. I won't do it again. Where's my beer? Did you take my last tin of beans?
Lynn.

Sorry Lynnie. Kev came round and we finished off the lager and beans. I used my own bread for toast. There's a bit left.
Jacky

Jack!
The bread was mouldy. I don't want that weirdo Kev in the house. Where is my beer?
Lynn.

Wotcher Lynnie! :) New loaf in the bin. Beans, beer and bangers* in the fridge. Gone to the match! Up United! See ya!
Jack The Lad.

I'll give you Jack The Lad. Eejit*! The 'new' loaf is out of date. Don't try to hide you scoffing* my quiche by filling the space with cheap tins of baked beans. I cooked the snorkers*. Thanks. Where's my flipping beer?
Lynn The Aggravated

Hold your horses, sis! Beans now in cupboard. There's a bit of a treat for you inside fridge.
Jackie.

Listen, you lazy pig. Calling a half eaten chocolate bar 'a bit of a treat' isn't even half funny. YOUR dirty plates on YOUR bed. Took your wet washing out of the machine. It's been there three days. It's in your room. You deal with the stink.
Lynn.
PS My beer?

Eva so sorry Lynnie. Called out and forgot the washing. Do a favour and hang it out? Gotta go to work. I'm on the new shift and I'll be late.
Yo bro Jackie.

Jack.
Where were you last night?
Lynn.

Leading Fireman Jack Broom has been posthumously awarded the George Cross for outstanding bravery.

298 words

Slang guide
*bangers = sausages
*eejit = idiot
*scoffing = eating
*snorkers = sausages