MFA Does Not Mean English Major

“Aww, crap!”

“What’s wrong, dear?”

“It’s happening again.”

“What’s happening? I keep telling you to use nouns and verbs.”

“I never should have hooked up with an English major.”

“I’m a lawyer, that’s what the ‘Esq’ after my name means, I am not an ‘English Major,’ I got an MFA to write my book. Besides, I hooked up with you.”

“Same thing. And I am VERY grateful you hooked me into your loving clutches.”

“Clutches? You may regret that later. No, dear, an MF—.”

“That urge is coming back.”

“Urge? The last time ‘That Urge’ came back we named her Allison and—.”

“You know damned well THAT urge has never gone away. I just physically can’t after they cured my prostate cancer with that ray gun. Everything inside is a scar now, but it did not kill the ur—.”

“Okay, sweetheart, relax.”

“I AM relaxed, I just get so frustrated by—.”

“Yes, dear. So, what urge is happening again?”

“There’s a new iPad.”

“Ohh, THAT urge. You just bought the latest one six months ago.”

“Yeah. But, this one has their new three gigahertz processor, twelve mega-pixel camera and—.”

“Ohhh, you know all that technical talk raises urges in me.”

“Their new Retina display is—. Ohh, urges? Hmmm, what did you have in mind?”

“Keep talking.”

“Yes dear. A14x Central processing unit with 64 gigabytes of scratchpad memory.”

“Ohhh ... Yeah ... keep going.”

“Wireless Bluetooth keyboard.”

“Uh-huh, Ohh Yeah, that’s it, keep it up—.”

“You’re screwing with me. This is all about distraction, isn’t it?”

“Are you distracted?”

“Ummm, Yeah. Upstairs?”

“Let’s go check out the new jacuzzi. We can leave the lights on now with all those new shrubs.”

“English lessons and distractions, all in one package.”

“Admit it, you love it.”

“Yeah, I do. Let’s go!”