The New World Savior

“You’re spending an awful lot of time in here. You’ve moved everything and cleaned it up. Not bad for the ‘Junk’ room.”

“Think of it as my studio and it’ll feel better.”

“So, you’re taking this painting thing seriously?”

“Yep, I am. I’ve wanted to for years and being retired now I have the time.”

“What’s that blob in the middle supposed to be? It looks like it could be a clock. Kind of like that melting clocks thing Dali did, but yours looks masticated.”

“It’s actually called ‘The Persistence of Memory,’ he did it in 1931.”

“It was ugly too.”

Ugly? God, Sheila, you have no culture at times.”

“Careful there, buddy, there weren’t any complaints last night about any lack of culture.”

“No, there weren’t. I’d say you had that culture worked out perfectly.”

“Damned good thing you recognize that.”

“Some said the soft clocks were inspired by Einstein’s theory of relativity and the mutability of time and space, but Dali denied that and said the inspiration was from the surrealist perception of a Camembert melting in the sun.”

“I like Camembert, I’d go with Limburger, that is disgusting.”

“It’s not for a snack, just To look at.”

“Well, it offends my thoughts. How about painting that gnarled old tree covered mountain north of town? It would be beautiful.”

“Im thinking of copying Da Vinci’s, Salvator Mundi. It just sold at Christie’s for $450 million.”

“Munchy what?”

“Salvator Mundi, it means World Savior. I always thought he used a woman as a model. I’ll give her bigger breasts and no beard. It should sell.”

“Religious porn? Oh, that’ll go over well with the local churches.”

“I won’t tell them if you don’t.”

“I think they’ll know.”

“How about you model for me?”

“No!”

“C’mon.”

“No!”

“Coward.”

“Yes!”