Where Did It All Go?

I was always very pleased with my life, contented and peaceful. My response to the question 'How are you?' was always, "Finer than frog fur,” a modification of the old Midwest saying, "Finer than frog hair." Fur's finer than hair and I was in charge of how I felt so why not?

At 100 I've lost it all and my worst nightmares are looming on my horizon; My beautiful memories are gone and I'm losing control of the “Me” I need to be. My eyes are so bad now that glasses won’t help and my hands shake so bad I couldn’t hold a book still enough to read it even if I could see it.

I’ve loved books since I was 5 and taught myself to read by making my mother read me The Wizard Of Oz a couple hundred times. Well, that’s what she always said. Science fiction was my thing for twenty years then many other genres. I’ve read all of the encyclopedia Brittanica over the years and more books than I could ever count.

The odor of old books was a passion of mine and so comforting to me that I think I’ve fallen asleep in the stacks in libraries more than in my own bed. Several times they’ve locked me in and I spent the night happily reading under the streetlight shining through a window.

Now all I can see are shadows and the out of focus green sleeve of my robe when I use it to wipe the incessant tears running down my cheeks, but soon I won’t even be able to lift my arm to do that. I wonder if I’ll be able to hold my breath long enough? They say you can’t, but maybe the stress will cause a heart attack.

All the wonder's and glories of my life are gone now, and I'm so very alone and frightened all the time.




Entry for 07/04, Where Did It All Go, 300 Words,

Where Did It All Go?  (E) A 100 year old man thinks about his life. #2183704 by Paul