Smile, please!

An old man sat on a bench in the park where he could hear the pigeons cooing. A young man approached him hesitantly with a nervous smile and introduced himself.
'Hi, I am Rakesh. Are you the guru that everyone has been talking about lately?'
The old man chuckled and replied, 'Well, look at me. Do I look like a guru to you? I am wearing shades for god's sake?'
The old man giggled like a child at the Rakesh's puzzled gaze. The guru's radiance lowered Rakesh's guard and he spoke up.
'People told me that you solved their issues like you had some magic. They witnessed miracles after talking to you. Can you please help me?'
'I can, but do you believe in god?'
He hesitated but replied, 'No'
He dismissed the young man with his wrinkled hand, 'How can I help you if you don't believe in me?'
This startled him, and he was disappointed at the flow of this conversation. He felt he found another crook who wasted people's time with wonders and preaching. As he was pulling himself to leave, he found a mischievous smile on the old man's pale face. Despite his cracked lips, his smile was able to draw the young man into his words.
'Oh, youngsters these days are so serious that they can't wait for a second to judge. I'm messing with you, boy. I believe in God, but I can't expect you to do the same. Coming to your 'people', I lost my wand a long time ago, so I just listen to them and tell them what I feel about it in ways I believe they'd understand. The miracles that they witnessed are their own doing. Come on, sit here.' He showed a seat beside him on the bench.

Rakesh began explaining his situation with his father and how he is failing to convince him to accept his decision to marry the girl he loves. He has decided to elope and cut his ties with his family who cannot understand him. Then he went on to crib on his father while the old man listened patiently until the former gave a tired sigh and waited for his response.

'I understand that you have quite a conundrum there, but I can't give you free opinions. We are in 2050 and even a walk in this park costs you unless you are favored by the government. We've capitalized on almost everything now. I would like to pick your brain on a story I have. Are you willing to listen?'
'Yes definitely. It only seems fair.'
'Great, it is a story about two siblings, and they were sitting in their favorite restaurant arguing about something that was going to change their lives--


'Are you sure about this?'
Arya's face was wrought with concern upon hearing Avinash's decision and all she got was a pensive stare in response. After a moment of awkwardness, he leaned forward and slowly nodded.
'You're not in your office anymore. Why are you so silent here? It is just you and me. Don't just nod!'
With a nervous smile breaking his grim expression, he began,
'Yeah, ...um... sorry about that, ...hmm... I need this now and I don't think I ...um... left with any choice'
'Aren't you going to your therapist? Be patient; healing takes time.'

Arya and Avinash ran away from their aunt's house who had been hosting them after their parents' death. That house left them with deep scars to heal. Arya somehow settled herself but Avinash couldn't let go of his hatred for his aunt and could never escape from it. The suppressed rage made him socially awkward and gradually withdrew him from society for a long time until his sister pushed him to go back. The social construct felt like an unnecessary tangled mess and he couldn't even begin to understand its complexity. Though he was brilliant, he couldn't realize his potential due to his inability to talk to people and despite his best efforts at improving them, he couldn't keep a conversation with people for more than a minute. Over time, he obsessed over improving his social skills and devalued everything else. He was unable to let go of that obsession nor could he reach a conclusion.

'I've been to so many sessions...um.. and five experts. They don't help me', pausing to cough and compose himself, he looked away, 'I just... I can't wait any longer.'

He had cried in front of the mirror that morning and was disgusted at himself for not letting go of that habit. Arya hated it and always patronized him to seek better ways of releasing himself. He was always neglected in his company due to his awkwardness and he had no friends in office. He didn't want these things to affect him, but he couldn't get a hold of his thoughts and they always spiraled down to his childhood memories paralyzing him for a long time. Now he just wanted to be free from this chain reaction of thoughts, one way or another, to survive his daily life in the corporate world. And he finally found a solution.

Avinash was introduced to Dr. Malik, a renowned psychologist, by one of his therapists. Dr. Malik was the head of a secret project - Stimulated Muscular Interface for Life Enhancement, simply called SMILE. He and his team worked on SMILE with the funding of major healthcare companies that herded the project for its applications that could bring a revolution in the corporate world. Avinash could easily relate to the benefits of such a product in his life. One of the key things he needed to work on to improve his social life was his smile. He forced an extremely nervous and awkward smile which made the conversations difficult and people gave pity compliments which further pushed him down the confidence bar, breaking in sweat and coughing. Dr. Malik's had a compelling theory about smile -- 'the smile at the right time with the right person with the right intensity' could not only stop wars but also win hearts. A smile with a tinge of innocence and naivete lowers a person's guard. A smile associated with arrogance and confidence asserts a person's power over another. A smile wicked enough would scare anyone away. His study showed that the people who smile all the time were disliked more than the awkward ones. While the ones who followed his theory became popular no matter which environment they were put into. This laid the foundation of his project and they were nearing the end of it. One of the risks involved in this product was that SMILE needed access to the optic nerve to assess and respond to a situation. This was an irreversible transformation where a user can lose his sight upon removal of SMILE, including many other complications of privacy and trust due to which Dr. Malik had trouble finding willing participants. Avinash felt they were destined to meet and he continued his correspondence with the doctor where he shared his willingness to be the subject of the trial. They were going to perform the surgery next week. He had made up his mind, but he wanted Arya to accept his decision. She cringed at the fact that companies encourage such a horrendous project that could lead people to forget the essence of life and letting them dissolve in the web of corporates. She found it an unnecessary crutch and the idea of her brother getting mutilated terrified her. She was against it as soon as she heard about his decision. But she realized nothing could dissuade him now from the surgery. She took a deep breath and said,

'Fine. Go ahead with the surgery but don't come crying back to me when you are lost again'
She rose up, hoping he would have second thoughts about it, and left the restaurant.
While Avinash, just stared as she left and steeled himself for the surgery. He tipped the waitress and left for the airport.

Two weeks later, the doctors discharged Avinash with a beaming smile as the project proved successful and he was eager to find the results of his project in real life. He gave a few caveats before sending him off:

'You need to remember that SMILE is only a support system and not your source of oxygen. You should not rely too much on it. The implant contains a good amount of instructions to work well but it will only get better with time as it gathers more information. Since smile is still in its nascent stages, it will not be effective and in fact, may go haywire when you are under extreme emotional stress as the synapses would fire randomly disrupting SMILE's signals. Try to stay calm no matter what the situation may be.'

Avinash bid farewell to the doctor and his team to begin his new journey with SMILE. When he entered his office, he could feel people boring their eyes behind his back. He was nervous, but he pushed himself to believe SMILE and talked to people. He stuttered like he used to, but people didn't have the pitiful expression anymore. Instead, he was surprised to find them warmly smiling back at him. This boosted his confidence, and he grew on people with time. His life couldn't have been better. In two weeks' time, he gathered a group of people he was comfortable calling friends. They invited him to parties, and he was the star of the show. He thought he could now see past his delusions about humans and his rage wasn't weighing on him anymore. Though everything was good, he felt betrayed by his sister at a critical time of his life. He felt he didn't need her anymore, and she never needed him. She was the bright and jovial kid and was adored by everyone. She tried calling him a couple of times, but he never picked her call. The calls stopped after a while and he didn't bother to call.

Avinash received a promotion in just a month's time for his ideas that had been locked away for a long time. He invited everyone in the office to his party and made a blast out of it. He received a call from his sister but this time he was so annoyed that he blocked it and went on with the party. The next morning with the brightness of a new star, he went to his favorite restaurant with friends. The waitress approached him with a grave face and upon listening to the message he drove crazily to the hospital and found his sister in the morgue. The attendant asked him if he was a relative of her. Avinash trembled at the sight of his sister's body. He shakily asked about the incident while his friends tried to calm him down. The attendant was busy, but he frowned and said,

'She was driving fast down a busy road and a bus crossing the signal from the side hit her. People tried calling her emergency number, but nobody responded and the number went dead no matter how many times they called after it. Since her phone was locked, they couldn't access any other number. She lost a lot of blood and since her blood was O -ve, we hoped there would be a relative who could help us find a match, but nobody turned up. It is a tragedy to see a life go like that.'

As the attendant left, Avinash slowly approached Arya and touched her blood-drenched head. As he absorbed the information, along with grief and shock, he had a sick feeling in his stomach. He realized what he had done the last night when he blocked the number. He was unable to breathe under the crushing pressure of guilt knowing that his blood could have saved his sister. His friends gasped, and he turned to see what had happened. They had a look of disgust and stepped back while one of them took a video of him. He peered at his reflection in the mirror in front of him to find a devilish smile. It was oddly comforting while contorted with wicked outlines at the corners. It was so unnatural and horrifying that he scratched his face instinctively cutting his cheek to bleed. He couldn't control it. He broke down beside his sister while his friends ran away.

A couple of days after cremation, he decided to get back to his routine. He wasn't sure if he was ready, but he knew that he needed to get out of his apartment. SMILE had gone back to functioning normally after he calmed down. He was comforted by that fact and pushed himself to go to his office. When he entered the hall room, he found puzzled looks from the peons and the security. He didn't mind them thinking that his face might just be worn out. He sat at his desk to begin the work to find many papers with 'weirdo', 'devil', and 'maniac' written over them. He was distressed to find them there. No one paid any attention to him when he called out to find the culprit. He talked to a couple of people and found that the video with his absurd smile had gone viral in the office and the inhumane expression on his face disturbed people and they found him uncomfortable to talk to. He could see the disgust in their eyes and just couldn't bear to stay in the office and went back to his apartment.

He stood in front of the mirror and tried to cry but to his surprise, he couldn't. As he began to picture the incidents of the day, he felt the urge to cry like he usually did, but now he found a smile so comforting that he couldn't bring himself to tears. As soon as he relaxed, he tried it again, but he realized he was unable to go through his ritual anymore. He felt compelled to release the stress, but he was unable to do so. He left his apartment to his sister's place. He pulled his brakes midway when he realized his sister was no longer with him. He sniffled for a couple of minutes and went to her home anyway. He hadn't been to her home since the incident and he wanted to get her effects soon. The house was clean as it usually was. She never left her home disorganized. She annoyed him to keep his apartment clean and he never listened. As the memories flooded his mind, he had to sit to compose himself. He opened the bag of effects that the morgue had delivered. He didn't find the time or mind to inspect them until now. He emptied the contents on the sofa where he found a piece of paper lying on the table with Arya's scribbling on it. It was a messy letter with a few blots of water, like she had drinks near the letter, and torn on the edges. It seemed to be the last thing Arya might have written and it was addressed to him --

'Avi, I know you must feel betrayed about me leaving you in the restaurant that night, but I couldn't find a better way to get my message across to you. I just wanted you to understand the gravity of the decision you were about to take and honestly, I hoped you'd have second thoughts on your decision without my support. But to see you so determined about something like that, I was reminded of you 10 years ago and I was warm with pride. I was too late to respond and found that you've grown a good bunch of friends. I guess I still wanted you to rely on me and was jealous to find you surrounded by friends. I thought it was better to leave you alone to stop myself from holding you back, but I couldn't, Avi. I mean, we were there for each other since our parents died and I just wanted to talk to you about something.

There's only so much you can do by yourself. Learn to include people and living with them. I understand we didn't have the best of childhood nor the best guardians, but you need to let go of the past to move on. Our aunt didn't do right by us, but you can't let her haunt you even after her death. You need to accept and forgive her, not for her sake but to free yourself. People have tried to approach you, but you always pushed them away projecting our aunt on them. I tried to help you, but you began to push me away as well. I really hoped that the sessions would work for you. Learn to accept yourself the way you are. Don't let your past define you, we inevitably find ourselves stuck in it, but it is our duty to be the person we need to be in this moment. We change with time and need to accept the changes to continue walking this life.

P.S. Honestly, you don't need the smile designed by some scientist. I wished you would realize that by yourself, but you seemed too attached to the idea of that artificial smile. I remember you having the brightest smile I'd ever seen, and your laugh lit the room as no one could. I hated the idea of you being one of the corporate robots. I worry you might be crying louder behind that new mask oblivious to everyone, including me. I tried, but I failed to approach you when you needed me, and I really hope, you would not need me but if you do, know that I'd always be there for you. All you need to do is ask.'
While he read the letter again, he found his tears marring the words on the paper beside the already marred words from the water blots and realized the blots were not from the drinks. He had read and heard the words on the letter from many people, but this was the first time that the words had sunk in. While the void of loss and sickening guilt played with him, his rage and hatred boiled him from within. For a second, he cursed his sister for not letting him hate himself. The paralyzing confusion and acute pain in his chest overwhelmed him. He sat there for hours staring into the blank. He wanted to do something but didn't know what. Every cell in his body tried to push him to action but his mind paralyzed him on that sofa. After much deliberation, he made a decision and rose up steadying himself. He took the letter and left the city to meet Dr. Malik. He thanked the doctor for giving him the opportunity and left him with confused results. He stood on the bridge for a while. Arya had loved the towers overarching the bridge on either side when she came here to accompany him on his first visit. He read the letter one last time and they were the last words he ever read.'


Rakesh was silent for some time and the Guru waited till he composed himself and let him speak.
'I'm not dumb. You are telling me to swallow my father's words and abandon my love, aren't you? That's the whole point of this story, isn't it?'
The guru smiled at him. 'No, my boy, I wouldn't do that. All you need to do is understand yourself better, others and then evaluate who needs convincing. In the end, we are the ones who must live with the choices we make. I can't make them for you nor can I hint you towards them. You need to evaluate your options wisely and not let fleeting emotions override your rationality in making hasty decisions. Shed your pride, give your father some time and be patient. Show your father the path you walked. Let him understand you instead of convincing him.'
'Hmm... I need to think more about this. But the conclusion of your story didn't feel right. Does it mean that Avinash committed suicide?'
'You are smart, but you miss the details. I just said they were the last words he ever read, I never said he died.'
Just then, guru's wife called out to him, 'Avi! You've spent enough time with the pigeons. Nithin is waiting for us.'
Avinash rose up unfolding his white cane and began tapping the road to find his way towards her. As realization dawned on him, Rakesh stared at Avinash's straight back with a smile that finally touched his eyes for the first time in a long while.