I'm In The Furnace and I'm Still Frozen

I sit in my chair
I stare at my computer
Reading these numbers
Reading these lines
When I could be out there
Finding my heart among the lights

I'm learning, I'm writing
My head is swiftly turning
My fingers are deft
On the keyboard right and left
I look inside and peer within
The furnace makes no din

When I hold a book it
lights a spark, a world
comes to life. Fantasies
and ideas
A deluge of capricious sage
I feel it
The fire, the blaze, but just as I lay
that book down, all I see are
Embers.

I go back to my life
I wake from my dream
There is no fire, no rush
Perhaps this is it I think
A wheel, repeating,
A circle that can never reach
A certain point of destiny

I sit in my chair
I stare at my computer
Dreaming of the stage
That will someday hold my presence
Dreaming of that audience
Who I will live and die for
Dreaming of the heat from the
Furnace that is my heart
Every second will be filled with an irreplaceable joy
Every minute my life getting longer
But until then
I'm still frozen.