Michael Jackson is Alive

June 25th, 2009. A day I will never forget. The day the world stopped spinning. Hearts were broken, lives were ruined, dreams were crushed. It was the meltdown of the century. God had left us, and no one was prepared for the abyss of depression we all had to face.
June 25th, 2009.
The day that Michael Jackson died.
Michael Joseph Jackson was a American icon. On August 29th, 1958, he practically danced out his mother’s womb and onto the nearest stage. When Michael was six years old, he and his older brothers began the legendary singing dancing boy band called the Jackson Five. Once it became obvious just how much more talented than his brothers Michael was, he began his career as a soloist. People everywhere fell deeper in love with the teen heartthrob. His voice was that of heavens angels. His dance moves were fresh and captivating, dare I say out of this world. His clothes were eye catching and trendy, and his smile could cure cancer. Hit after hit after hit were released by the youngest Jackson brother, each one better than the last. Michael was labeled as “the king of pop” for both revolutionizing the music of his time, and making American lives worth living. After witnessing the star perform the moonwalk, change skin colors, and get away with pedophelia, we realized that there was nothing he couldn’t do. Michael Jackson was capable of defying all earthly odds.
So how is he dead?
Well, the answer is simple.
He’s not.
“Doctors are calling it a drug overdose.” They’re wrong.
“He was found lifeless in his home.” Haha, try again sweetie.
“Michael Jackson is dead at age 51.” That’s your opinion.
I refuse to believe that Michael Joseph Jackson is dead. And if you’re smart, so will you. Because he’s alive. And, not only is he living, Jackson is thriving. And I have multiple facts and theories to back me up.
In 2014, Michael Jackson’s album “xscape” was released (and you better believe I bought the CD and poster as soon as it was). But, it was released in 2014. Jackson “died” in 2009. HOW CAN HE RELEASE AN ALBUM HE’S DEAD?!?!?! He couldn’t. Hold a microphone up to a corpse and tell me what kind of music you get. Therein lies my first point.
You’re now probably wondering where Michael Jackson is. Well let me enlighten you. Jackson’s in hiding. It is widely known that he’s staying up in Canada right now to avoid the hustle and bustle of his previous life of fame. After having to deal with it from an early age, Michael has become sick of fame. So, he faked his death, and went into hiding. There have been, however, various sightings of Michael in the past few years. His daughter Paris posted a selfie on instagram, and there is a suspicious pile of clothing in the back of her car that many think resembles the shape of her not-so-dead father. In 2017, people saw a man at Jackson’s nephew’s wedding that had a similar nose to Michael’s. If that’s not proof that he’s still alive, I don’t know what is.
Now, if you’re thinking it’s too hard to go into hiding for nine years, then riddle me this: is it hard to fake a hair color? Nope, I’m doing it right now. Is it hard to fake a tan? It is not, and that will be proven to you about a week before prom. Is it hard to fake a moon landing? Ask the government. They’ve done it. So, when you have a large group of paid employees that dedicate their lives to hiding you, it’s disgustingly easy to fake your own death.
I’m sure you’re really kicking yourself now. I bet you’re wondering how could you have been so foolish to believe these silly ploys? To answer you frankly, I don’t know. You’re probably just dumb.
And Michael, I’m sorry.
I just outed your secret;)