Silently killing

The silence is killing me. My love for you is breaking me. It feels like the light betrayed me. You were supposed to cast the darkness away. Your departure from my life; ensuring it's presence in my life be eternal. You didn't know you were the last ray of light in the otherwise encompassing darkness. I wonder, would you of still left knowing you were the peace I was aimlessly searching for. You were the last connection left untainted;ending abruptly in silence. This predicament creating a long phase of pondering;it has yet to end,making for long restless day's and nights. Longing to embrace or let you go. I was so ceartain I would show you my fury should my eye's gaze upon you once more. Yet tonight I weep over What's been lost. The last one that didn't break my heart and you ran away as fast as you could in the opposite direction. If I'm such a good person as a lot exclaim,why am I forced to watch everything fall apart then float away? Why do I suffer every day;every moment my eye's are open! Why did she turn her back on me! Why am I alone to fight the darkness?Forced to fight a war that never ends. So much grief in finding out the truth. Twelve years of deciding between patience and engaging and this is the way I finally realize you will always be just out of reach. Feeling bittersweet about all the memories we share together. Conflicting feelings of joy and sorrow. Joy because I treasure every moment it lasted;sorrow because I fear no new memories are to be made. Making me resent myself for wishing I never met you but still grateful for showing what was dormant deep inside. At a time I lost my way,you made me realize hope only dies when you stop believing. You made me believe again. In my heart I know I'll always hope that I'll be more than a distant memory to you.