My journey with food

before I begin I would just like to add a disclaimer: this is a story of personal experience and thous dose not survive and prof of anything wrong with a vegetation or vegan diet, as different people will have different experiences with said diets, this is only a telling of my personal experience in the hopes that some or all of it can be of help to someone going though similar problems.

This story starts in my teenage years my older sister was trying to be a vegetation herself and after talking to her about her reasons why I decided to fallow suite. I did vary good despite my mother buying me vegetation burritos that for some reason had beef broth in them, yes really they were burritos that were called vegetation that had beef broth in the ingredients this was in the early 2000's. I stopped after my mother talked me into helping her make chicken and dumplings because she couldn't remember what it was suppose to taste like, yes I know my mother tricked me there, but in her defiance like many parents she was worried that a vegetation diet was unhealthy. so I came to the concussion that as long as I lived there I was not going to be able to be a vegetation.

years down the road I moved in with my now vegan sister and got my first job, I tried to be a vegan because in my mind I really didn't need to be drinking milk because of my milk allergy and I didn't really like eggs anyway so why not. It is really hard to be a quote "good vegan" when you work at pizza place that lets you eat free pizza and you are pretty much broke and have a weakness for cheese. This made the depression I was suppressing get worse because I was shaming myself for not being a better vegan and for gaining so much weight. so i said F this and went back to just eating what ever, this only made things worse, my heath was declining and I was vary unhappy. then one day I decided this is not okay. I started taking vegan food to work and did my best to not eat pizza at work, I even started going to the gym with my sister, but once again I started to shame myself for not being a good enough vegan.

my depression got to it's worst point after I got pregnant, this is when realized what I had been calling depressive episodes was really me just being depressed and not dealing with it and because I wasn't dealing with it, it was becoming worse and the "episodes" more common place, and this is when I decide I had to do better if not for myself then for my child. I stopped calling myself a vegan and started just trying to eating healthy regardless of rather or not I was eating animal products. With the help of the You-tuber unnatural vegan and my big sister I came a crossed reducetarianisom, and that sounded like something I could honestly stick to because even thou it is about ending harm to animals it is more freeing because as long as you are still doing something to reduce animal suffering you are doing it right, and with everything going on in my life that is more do able for me. I do still try to be vegan but I no longer call myself vegan for the sake of my own mental heath.

Thank you for reading and I hope you found it helpful in someway.