self care.

self care is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as "the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness"
i've never been much good at self care
i forget to eat, i don't sleep, i hold everything in and let it destroy me and even destroy myself.
often people tell me to talk to them, let them know what's happening, why i'm so upset, why i'm not myself.
i've stopped doing that for the most part.
got told i was being selfish, that i didn't care about anyone but myself because i finally said something, because i did what they wanted.
so i stopped.
i stopped talking about what i was feeling and kept it all inside.
now, i listen.
it doesn't matter how bad i feel, i listen.
i could have blood running down my arms, my stomach, my thighs, my head in a noose, pills in my hands it doesn't matter.
if someone needs to talk about what's going on, how they feel, everything that's gone wrong, i listen. i talk them through it and try to help them feel better if they so desire.
i'll try and talk them down from taking their own life while contemplating taking my own. i'll drop whatever i'm doing and talk, even if they're just a little down that day.
i don't want anyone else to be told that talking about it is selfish. i don't want them to hear it and believe it and hold it all inside.
it destroys you.
i'm not good at self care, it's no secret.
but caring for others?
that's a whole other story.
-. if you ever need someone, i'm there. talking about it is not selfish, it's one of the best things you can do. if someone cares, they'll listen and support you and never call you selfish for it.
(08.10.2018, 22:35)