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the other side of my "i'm trying." |
part two of "i'm trying." part one is here: https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2160398-im-trying i'm trying i'm taking it day by day and it's hard. more than anything, i want things to be okay. i still sometimes hurt emotionally physically but not at my own hand anymore at least not as often i'm finding other ways to get through the day. i still think of ways to end it all but not to pass the time. they come at random times intrusive thoughts i ofter try and ward off but sometimes it's easier to let them stay it can make the comments easier to deal with faggot. tranny. waste of space. burden. but it's not the only way anymore. it doesn't always feel like the only way out. my friends, they understand. they tell me that the comments are false. that i am beautiful. handsome. kind. important. and sometimes i believe them, and when i don't they don't get upset. they know i've tried to leave time and time again they know i sometimes still hurt and they try to help and they help as much as i let them. they are keeping me here but i am happy with them they don't make me deal with this alone if i don't want to sometimes they won't let me deal with it alone as i am more of a danger to myself than anyone else. it's getting easier to stay. to see the light. it's still hard, it's really fucking hard, but still i try. |