Whatever You Say, dear

"AAAHHHHHH! Bill? ...WHERE ARE YOU?"

"I'm right here, honey, what's wrong? God, sweetheart, you scared the hell out of me. What happened?"

"This letter, it just came and when I saw the handwriting my heart jumped into my mouth. It's from mom and I'm terrified something's happened to dad. He hasn't felt well for a couple weeks and I'm worried."

"Your dad is the crustyest old fart I've ever met. He's to mean and ornery to die. That dude with the scythe hasn't got the intestinal fortitude to come after him!"

"I thought you liked my father? How can you say that about him?"

"Sweetie, I love your father, I've told you that many times. If anything happens to him I'll be as crushed as you are. I never had a father, never met him. Your dad treats me like his son and I love that. Almost as much as I love you."

"I know, but I'm worried."

"I knew he was a little down, but I talked to him last Tuesday and he said he was feeling a lot better. He said he'd had a touch of the flu or something. Look at the date on the letter."

"Why didn't you mention it? You knew I was worried, that was six days ago."

"Because I thought your mother called and told you."

"Hand me the phone please, I'm not getting out of this chair until I talk to her and I don't want to be standing when I do!"

"Date?"

"Oh, uhh, three days ago. So she knows. I'm still calling. Phone?"

"Yes, dear, whatever you say, dear."

"Just hand me the phone, fool."

"Whatever you say, dear."