Inner Child

INNER CHILD

Chapter 1

I decided to come to this world to bring into it Love, Peace, and Happiness. This is my nature and the nature of the place I resided. A beautiful wondrous place of light. I came to this world lacking nothing, I was perfection. That is why it didn't bring anything with me, and was naked when I arrived. My first experience in this world was brutal, they hit me! Owwh, I cried. Like I didn't know how to breath on my own.. I came from a place of love, into a very harsh reality. Then they prodded and poked me sticking me with spears. At least that is what them shots looked like to me though my innocent eyes. Why was this happening to me?

All I wanted was to be accepted and loved. This new feelings and emotions were very difficult to decipher. I felt oozy, dizzy from all the drugs, and I was already forgetting who I am, and my mission. All these things were taking my full attention trying to filter through a mind to figure out whats going on. This was my first introduction to my mind. The mind said it would take over all the minute details of this life, and give me idea's and help me acclimate to the new life. That sounded good at the time.

This when they put me in my mothers arms. Ah finally a smiling face, and eyes that loved me. Then another set of eyes full of light and welcoming, my father. I was in their arms and felt safe for the first time since I got here. I felt loved and nurtured.

So I grew up like most kids. I realized my mind was in fact were two things, a brain which actually did the natural everyday things like keeping this body alive and safe. It had natural defenses, and could take care of itself. The other, the thinking part, personality, and mask. My mind grew more in control. I the inner child was being shut out more and more by the mind. It wouldn't listen unless I force it to.

I then grew up to know the ways of the world in which I was born. I was introduced to education of this world. I learned science, math, history, and language. My language being English. I understand that others born on this planet may have had none of this. This is not necessary a bad thing. I will explain.

Were do I start with this. I was born in this world from a perfect place. Just like every human, alien, and all creatures in life. I am stating as being a small existence in life, because the whole universe is a statement of life. It is a life force itself. If I could remember correctly. Its possible that our universe could be an atom in another, maybe more. Does that matter. I guess if you were the creator if may. We are. Lets move on.

I learned to walk, talk, learn my ABC's (language). I learned religion from my family and church. I was brought up Roman Catholic. Everyone was brought up by whatever the culture they were born into. Believe me in the long run, or short run don't matter so much. I learned everything like a sponge. I really like history, I found out we have both, a human, and religious (perhaps spiritual is a better word) one. They crossed paths a lot.

First thing I was told was God love me, but I was born into this world as a sinner. I thought as a child what could I have done so bad that it would have marked me. The place I came from was from love, did I cry too loud when I was spanked to breathe? Soiled my pants to much, or wanted more than my share of food? Did I suckle my mom's teats to much. What? I never understood that as a innocent child. I wanted to love the world, they were teaching me to hate it.

Theirs was a history told of a world that was of killing, conquest, lying, and cheating. The one that could do that the best would be rewarded the most. Then someone would come along with better weapons, and bigger lies that they could get people to believe. They destroyed all the culture, beliefs, and literature of the people they took over. Made slaves of them at best, or just plain murdered them. Whole civilizations were lost. Most never to be known of again, a history of a people gone. This is when I became a seeker on my own, to prove to my self what was the truth, and what wasn't. My ego mind was in control. It doesn't understand the spiritual things as well as the logical. So a deciphering of thoughts between my inner child, and my ego was in play.

Chapter 2

As a child I had a dog that I loved. My father was mean to him. But my dads anger I understand now as an adult. While building a new house an working on the hand build kitchen cabinets my puppy peed inside of one. My dad was furious grab him and through him outside. My puppy ended up with a broken leg. I loved that dog so much, we played together many years. Along with my bother and sister. Be he was my dog, my puppy. One day hit and killed by a car. I cried all that night. I remember sitting in the bathtub crying by myself. God, how could this be? I cried. How can you let me love something so much and take it away from me? My love hurt so much I told God I was going to put my love away in a place where it could never be hurt again. A place where it would be safe from his wrath, and he would not see it again. I was so hurt, and angry.

As note this in the future would cause my more pain then the original lost. I never found where I hide my love. I need it back so much now. I am so sorry I got so angry at God, and did this. I lost myself, my love.

In the future, recently now. I have gone back in time, through my minds eye. To hold and love that child, me. I begged him not to hide his love, and not to put it in that safe place that would be forgotten. I argued lovingly that he needed that love in life to live fully, and not only was he hurting himself, but me too. Now it was hidden from the world, and as it came to be, me.

This is what I came into the world to share, so I lost my mission, my intent for mankind. Now I want my love back. I want to share it. I have spent my life searching in many peoples eyes for my love. I found only theirs, but it wasn't mine. I have tried to love, but seem to always fail. I realized now I was a fool as a child. I understand now it (my love) can,or never could have been harmed, broken or destroyed in anyway. It was my God particle. Everlasting and eternal. My body will fade and disappear, but my love would never.

I found my love now after many years searching, and by the reassuring of my inner child. God let me hide it where it could always be found. It was inside me all the time. Behind my heart, blocked by my own heart. I begged and pleaded to this day to find it. Today it has been revealed to me again. I will not guard it as a treasure to be hidden away any more. I will give it to all freely. Steal it if you feel you need too. The more I give, the more I have to give. That's one doggone message.

Unfortunately lest I am able to remind myself ever day I will forget again. So I found out when I reread the last paragraph recently. When I forget to remind myself, my love fades into the nothingness again. Luckily I write these stories to remind me, or I would have to start over again. Why does this happen to me. Why is life trying to stop my mission (whatever that might be). Because whatever that is, I can't remember that either. Maybe it is to slow up a process.

I've been reminded just recently I was to start a group of like minded people. I only need one to start to remember. Grow the group to three, then I am not sure. But I don't know if I can even find that first one person who thinks like me, so it can began. How do I find me among all the other I's that don't remember either. To clarify what I mean by that is that we are all one, although we don't remember that.

As I take myself out of separation from myself:by combining my divine nature with my human one, I become one. A lesson that I needed to learn was that I was a spiritual being having a human experience. My job on the spiritual side was to love my human experience as a whole. It was an experience. Good, or bad choices happened, and I learned lessons from them all. My human side needed my love to be okay. My inner child had to be the adult in the room for this. This healing is the first stage of healing the separation myself, then between beings (us). Then maybe we can heal groups of people, to love and cherish each one as we do ourselves. Maybe it can spread world wide. Sounds like what I was born for.

My inner child, that I was first born as, was the true me. I need that child of pure innocence to come forward again. I feel now I love, and cherish that child as being the best of me, forgotten by life. I search inside myself ever day to get that precious child to come out of his hiding place. To come out to the world , and be who he was suppose to be. Divine in nature, born human. In truth we all were! Then to take his place in the fabric of life, and light the way so others can do the same. Time to turn our light on.

Find your own inner child then bring him, or her forth. Time to remember who we are. Find that pure innocence this world has took from us. Cradle and love yourself, rebirth yourself in your cocoon of protection. You know what's at stake, you been through it. You have to protect that child more than you were. You have to be diligent, guard against all that will bring the child harm. You have to rebirth yourself. It means you have to forgive yourself, and take yourself off the cross--the one that this world, and you have condemned yourself to. You judge yourself too hard.You have to resurrect yourself, through your inner child. I suppose that might be what was meant to be being born again. It is a lot more work then just believing. You are not alone in this process, you have all help you can ask for. Give permission to Jesus, God, Prime creator, Angels, Guides, or whomever your choice of higher power to help. They can't help lest you ask them, because of the rule of free will.

The inner child knows we are all one. However totally fragmented. We are are unique, all a piece of the whole. Without anyone of us, including everything in the universe's that exists: the picture is not complete. Like a universal jig saw puzzle. The one that is us (God, Prime Creator, etc.) would never allow one of even the smallest piece to go missing. How could it all be put back together again without you. Yes that is how important you are to the whole.

I miss who I was before I was born, but my inner child remembers who I am. I am glad my inner child is with me. Someone needs to remember.

Thomas Seeker