He Yells a Lot

"I know you did it!"

"But..."

"No! You did it, you were the only one out here."

"But I was goin..."

"Stop trying to deny it! You did it!"

"I'm NOT denying it, I'm tryi..."

"Do NOT yell at me."

"Why not? You YELL at me all the time!"

"NO I DO NOT, I'm a stage actor and my habit is to deepen my voice while pushing a little so the people in back can hear.”

"Well it SOUNDS LIKE YELLING TO EVERYONE ELSE. You sound like a bomb going off when you do it."

"Do not yell at me again young lady, you don't pay the bills or the rent."

"Ohh, and because you do that gives you the right? Besides, mom pays a lot of it and she says you yell too."

"What? What's going on? What are you two fighting about? Again!."

"Your daughter has just informed me I yell a lot and everyone thinks that!"

"You do. And everyone does think that."

"But I..."

"I know...'I'm an actor and I deepen my voice so everyone can hear.' You yell a lot."

"But, I..."

"No buts, you yell. The other big response is always, "You want to hear YELLING? I'll SHOW you yelling."

"God, now I have to take abuse from my daughter too...I like it though, I like it. Okay, I raise my voice. Sorry C. J., I'll try to change that."

"It's okay grampa, I love you. You can be very scary sometimes though."

"Okay, a deal. Now get rid of that empty soup can you left on the counter and don't do it again."