Open Letter

"I am fine, don't worry about me" just how many times did you type or write this with a tear stained face?

Just how many people do you want to believe that you are perfectly fine when at the first place you really want to die?

"Life is just unfair, too unfair! Why can't I live the way I want? Why does it have to be me?" Have you ever think of those questions while crying silently to your pillow? Or sulking in the corner of your room thinking why does it have to be this way?

"Friends, family and your loved ones, you really don't want them to worry, you don't want to be a burden to them, so let's mask that face with a half hearted smile and let them hear that harmonious melody of your fake laugh so they would know nothing cause sometimes playing pretend is much easier than explaining why and how to each and every one of them..." how many times did you felt this way?

People think that you can handle your own, you're strong, resilient, brave and a mature human being, but, on the inside you were screaming "help me! I need help! I am in despair! I am on the abyss of my darkest thoughts"

And then your there, on your breaking point, depression is gnawing you. You're feeling lifeless, worthless, tired, you lost your motivation on every single thing and all your problems starts to devastate you that you don't even have an appetite to eat. You think that sleep is the only escape but unfortunately you can't sleep because you're drowned on your thoughts and when you do, you don't really enjoy waking up, because waking up is another day of bearing to live while all you want is to be dead. Every day you have to continue wearing that fake happy face mask so you won't be a bother... aren't you tired of it? It's the same old routine right?

So to someone who's reading this that wants to die badly but failed to do so, hang in there, time will come and you will eventually enjoy the sweetest rest that you want with a peaceful heart, so hang on a little, things will get better just wait for it ^^ Things will get better, there's still hope ^^ There are a lot of people who want you by their side, so don't give up! There's still a single ray of light in that dark tunnel your walking thru!! Depression makes you feel all the written things above but don't kill yourself! Your precious and you are not worthless, you have your own charm that those who loves you cherishes and appreciates ^^ don't worry they won't get fed up of you, they won't leave you, if they do, right people will still stay, they won't be tired to hearing you out, they are always there to comfort and support you, so you are not alone cause YOU ARE LOVED I know cause I'm experiencing the same way too, everyday seems to be a battlefield of living and dying but thanks to everyone who encourages me to choose living. Depression is like a game with just a game over at the end but a game would be handy with a partner, so go out and tell those you trust what you truly feel, you're not a bother and a burden they will hear you out with open arms because they might not tell you each and every day but they love you and they want to be with you ^^ So cherish that once in a lifetime chance you have cause we only lived once ^-^