It's bothering me

"The feelings that exist every day ; Just don't ever seem to fade away"
How long is this going to last? I ask. I just realized it may last forever.
Forever and ever.. and ever.
That's what happens when you don't know how to set yourself free.
Free from the lies you've built your heart upon, free from the memories, the painfully good memories, the beautiful and not so beautiful past...
The stress is forever going to be there, for the same exact problem until the day you die.. ever thought about that?
f word. It's never ending. One of the quotes I live by is the one that says "I believe my life is going to see the love I give return to me."
Why oh, why do I have to wait until the end though to receive this painfully never ending love I give out returned to me. The things , the simplest little things of my heart that desires. Does everybody not get anything they want ; until their life is over? Is it just me? You deserve the love you give out onto each of these souls that wouldn't even know how to bend backwards for you if they had the chance. Right after you have a little replacement of real happiness among you. Patience is a real thing. I hope.
Lonesome is my best friend. I always hated having friends anyways. I feel a complete coward. But that's just me. Going to continue loving and loving until there's no more I guess. It's like a continuous discipline with just faith there will be a slight reward. Love hurts, but time is beautiful I will continue teaching myself. Ouch.