I Have Questions.

Everything starts at 1
         except zero,
holding a place
or taking up space.
Wanted, to be unwanted.
Included to be excluded.
And everyone wants
         at best
a chance...to know
they have a chance,
because the goal is improvement,
         right?
To end up with more
than they had before?
         Sure,
so I've heard.
It's the refrain
in all the songs;
the keys in all the codes.
When do I get a turn?
I just want to be a number
         greater than 1,
but what lottery did I win?
What lottery am I in?
And why doesn't it feel lucky?
A fraction of sense
that doesn't make sense
serves no instinctive purpose
other than to confuse
on purpose;
merit has worth only when assigned a value...
unlike when someone gives you something based on merit
but in a way that works like credit that you know
you're gonna have to pay back plus interest (and
doesn't that defeat the purpose of getting ahead, ya know).

I have questions.

Ok, I'll go first...
how do I know
this is where I'm supposed to be, and
this is what I signed up for?

         40 lines; "I Have Questions."  from "World By Design"