Hurt

Do you know how much it hurt

How much pain I'm in

When you said if I'm like this, you won't support me, mother?

You are such a hypocrite, your best friend is a Lesbian.

Yet your daughter cannot be.

I can't change who I am.

Now I will never be able to talk to you about anything

Relationships

Love

Problems

Bullying

Anything.

You've made me trap my feelings

With all old friends too far away

because of moving

With no father figure to trust

Because you fall for the wrong guys

I love you

Why?

Why can't you accept me the way i am?

I'll never be good enough for you.

I'd even kill myself, but I fear pain.

And I have much to live for.

\But the pain.

It hurts so much.

You even favor my sister

Just because she is young.

One day i am beatiful,

The next day you scream at me that i am a fat ass whom will amount to nothing.

Why can't you just make up your mind?

I don't want to Change.

Because no matter who I am

I'll never be good enough

I love myself

I AM beautiful.

Even at 230 pounds.

Even with bad hygeine at times.

Even if I like girls.

Why...

You make me feel like nothing

Because thats all you say I will amount to

You make me wish I was never spawned

In your 17 year old belly

Because you make life almost as painful as death.

Why am I never good enough?

You make me think you hate me.

I know I am blessed.

I have many nice things.

But those are THINGS,

Not my feelings.

I Hurt so much

I cry so much

I ignore it most days

But some it comes crashing down

And I can't stop the tears now.



I just hope someday I will.