Notified

"I'm telling you, these algorithms you had me code are immoral," said the computer programmer. He was in the office of Kramer Davis, the CEO, who was seated at his desk.

"I don't care about your philisophical beliefs, just get it done. If people who chose not to be notified get notified when someone on their friends list makes a post, then it means more money for our company in the long run. You can't see the big picture, but I can."

"The big picture won't matter if this company gets sued! It's illegal!" said the programmer.

"You're dismissed, Jenkins." said the CEO, and Mr. Jenkins, the programmer, left the office and closed the door behind him

**********

Meanwhile, across town, in an office building, Kari poured herself a cup of coffee as Tommy, one of her co-workers, entered the room carrying a wooden box with ornate designs on it.

"Kari, you're good at solving puzzles," said Tommy.

"Yes, why, what's up?" Kari asked. Kari was native American with long bleach blonde hair.

"You're not going to believe this, but my sister met someone who claims to be a time traveler. The guy claims my sister is his direct ancestor and he's her direct descendant from a thousand years in the future, and that whoever figures out how to open this container will be granted three wishes. My sister tried, and I tried, but we couldn't figure out how to solve the puzzle of opening this dang thing!"

"Do I get three wishes if I open it?" Kari asked.

"How about you get one, I get one, and we'll save a wish for my sister. That is, if you open it."

Kari moved some of the tumblers, and realized there was a certain logic to their placement, and within a brief span of time, she had it opened.

"Ta-da!" said Kari.

"I knew I could have faith in you!" said Tommy. "What is your wish?"

"I have everything I need," said Kari, "a high-paying job, a cute boyfriend, and a satisfying career."

"Maybe you have a need you haven't considered," said Tommy.

"Now that you mentioned it, at one of the social media sites I go to, I specifically asked not to be notified when other people on my friends list post something, but I keep getting notifications. I'd like the guy who is responsible to be shrunk down to an inch tall and brought here to my desk so I can stomp on him!"

At that exact instant, Kramer Davis, the CEO of the company Kari just mentioned, was miniaturized and teleported to Kari's desk, just as she had wished.

Tommy and Kari were astonished.

"W-who are you?" Kari asked the shrunken man on her desk.

"I'm the CEO of the biggest social media site on the web! I'm Kramer Davis!"

"I think you used two wishes to shrink him and bring him here," said Tommy. "That means you have one wish to make him normal sized, or teleport him back where he came from, but not both."

"I'll pay you to make me normal again!" said Mr. Davis. "I'll pay you anything you ask!"

"Not for the world!" said Kari. She picked up the miniaturized CEO, and held him at eye level. "So, you're responsible for all those notifications I specifically requested not to be shown?"

"Yes!" said Mr. Davis. "I had one of my programmers set up the algorithms! It means more money for my company!"

An evil grin appeared on Kari's face. "I've always wanted to know what it felt like to swallow a miniaturized man!" Kari held him above her open mouth, and dropped him in. He plunged downward onto her pink tongue, and she closed her mouth around him. The smell of coffee washed over him as he was forced to the back of her mouth with her tongue, and she swallowed, sending him plunging down her esophagus.

"Kari, you can't!" said Tommy in his bisexual tone of voice. The fact that he was either gay or bisexual was a strong reason Kari felt unattracted to him, but she trusted him as if he were one of her girlfriends.

Kari lifted her shirt and stroked her belly. "Why not? Can't you keep a secret?"

"I've got Ipecac syrup in my desk, I'll run and get it!" said Tommy. he came back a minute later and begged Kari to drink some. "It induces vomiting, hurry and drink some!"

Kari obliged her panicked friend, and drank some Ipecac syrup. After about thirty seconds, she puked into her trash can, and the shrunken CEO came up and fell into the trash can. Kari fished him out.

"I can keep swallowing you all day, unless you agree to change those algorithms!" said Kari.

"Okay, okay!" said the shrunken CEO. "You win! I'll do it!"

Kari used another wish and restored the CEO back to normal size.

"You're going to have to get your own ride back to wherever you came from," said Kari, "because I used my last wish on you to restore you to normal."

After the CEO left, he was true to his word, and Kari stopped receiving the notifications as she had requested.

The End