Betrayel

I'm under the impression
That our obsession's reached a point of depression,
a state of reflection that leads me down a winded path
One that doesn't seem to last
Near sightedness makes the sight of this too much to handle,
and the vision fogs up with salted tears
the more I think about all the ways you could say goodbye
The sense of guilt and fear drifts by,
passing with a wave and leaving me to skip along a trail of uncertainty
and self-hatred
And all the while I remind myself that you cared
You cared enough to step up and back off,
you cared enough to show me your emotions before shutting them away,
and you cared enough to look at me with love despite feeling so replaced
Your face has been cracked apart by the pain you hide beneathe it
and this place is buckling under the weight of our lack of achievments,
and they martyr us for our sense of defeat despite the fact you dragged both yourself
and me up from our knee's

And now your lonely and it's all my fault

I won't pretend that it's not, I just wish I had stopped
I'm falling into a vad of choices I can't make up
and I'm depending on your answers

but I can't wake up to hear them...

And so I'm stuck in a state of loss and abandonment
despite you being the one both lost
and abandoned
And this message isn't to say I'm sorry
Sorry for being angry
Sorry for resenting you for loving me
admiring me
Sorry for finding value in your head instead of your heart,
for appreciating your skills instead of your passions,
and for praising your sights instead of your speech
It's to say thank you

Thank you for loving me enough to remember me
when I forgot about you
For giving me the benefit of the doubt,
for not having the doubt in the first place
And while life may take you in any direction,
I want to thank you for first choosing mine
For relinquishing the binds that trying times held me with
and giving me the belief that I could be something better,
thank you for seeing me as someone better

I only pray that you'll remember...

Remember the love and laughter that we had,
even on those rancid months of december
When you threw a birthday party
and we both screamed so loud our hearts became as cold as the weather,
and even when all we ever have to talk about ends up being the weather,
that's fine
Because like you, i just want to be remembered
So thank you for being apart of my life
I sincerely hope you continue to be