Killing myself slowly

She will wine.
She will dine.
She told me she was mine.
One look at her,
is to look at the Divine.
She knows I exist,
We exchanged feelings,
of various kinds.
She cannot hurt me,
I will not allow her too.
Why is it then, I hurt myself?
I deal with how I am feeling,
Every day, all the time.
I let my emotions run away,
I let my heart go.
With her is where I want it to stay.
She knows I love her,
I have shown her so.