What Is Failure?

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There are some lessons on this Earth that I can never learn from a classroom. We have questions. We have answers – then we have painful, dire confusion between a question and an answer. Many questions scatter across our world as much as numerous stars scatter across our beautiful, infinite universe. Like the gorgeous stars that clash against the darkness, certain questions in our society can lead to enlightenment that will obliterate the ignorance that tries to obscure the truth. For centuries, different philosophers around the world have asked paramount questions about our society. On cloudy days when I sit inside a library, my curious eyes would read the long, prodigious pages that belong to a textbook:

“Who am I?” asked Rene Descartes, the French mathematician who muttered the Latin words “Cogito Ergo Sum” as he investigated the connection between the mind and the body.

“What is intelligence?” asked Leonardo da Vinci, the Italian artist who painted the Mona Lisa and designed marvelous inventions during the European Renaissance.

“What is time?” asked Albert Einstein, the German scientist who pondered his Theory of General Relativity among his books and pencils.

“What is health?” asked Avicenna (Ibn-Sīnā), an Arabic philosopher who wrote very large encyclopedias such as The Book of Healing and the Canon of Medicine.

“What is war?” asked Sun Tzu, the Chinese general who contemplated military strategies in The Art of War (from the 5th century BC).

“What is history?” asked Gabriel García Márquez, the South American author who wrote a book called One Hundred Years of Solitude.

On sunny afternoons when the weather seems more serene than hostile, my nimble fingers would slide my textbooks onto the bookshelf so I could depart from the library and walk on the streets. During certain moments in my life, the concrete avenues and the aromatic coffeeshops would push more wisdom into my mind than any classroom could, since these different paths had only inspired me to ponder very difficult questions that I am too afraid to ask near a professor.

The same questions that have floated through the old, marble halls of ancient Greece have also drifted across the foul-mouthed words between young men - with punk rock jackets and stylish Mohawks - as they smoke cigarettes together outside a nightclub on a Saturday night. “Damn, what is life, man?” a young rebel might frown as he drinks a cheap can of beer with a cigarette between his two fingers. The young man might exhale a painful anxiety that is toxic like the nicotine that he inhales. The anguish that shoots across his eyes like a bullet might reflect the same affliction that appeared on Socrates’ old, gaunt face when he was imprisoned in Athens.

When new acquaintances speak to me for the first time, I always hear the same mundane questions from people who care less about my personality and more about my own accomplishments: “What is your career? How much money do you make? Do you get many chances to travel around the world?” When I have the chance to meet new friends and shake their hands, I never talk about cars. I never ask about mansions, private islands and college degrees. I only ask one simple question about their lives as a gentle smile touches my lips. I ask:

“Do you think the weather looks nice today?”

While this question may seem innocent, this particular phrase can actually reveal a person’s true perspective about life. We live in a chaotic world with war, political corruption, religious persecution, racial discrimination and poverty. In our society, many people define Success as “wealth and fame.” In my own eyes, I have a different definition for Success: “To live with passion and freedom.” Some Wall Street businesspeople seem to be “happy, successful millionaires” – but they might become miserable once they start to realize that money can never buy true happiness – such as friendship, integrity and even true love. There are janitors who may seem melancholic as they mop and clean our dirty floors, but they actually feel successful and happy because their money had bought food for their families.

When I meet new people, and I ask “Do you think the weather looks nice today?” I normally get two different reactions. Miserable people only complain about their “nasty salads that they bought from a fancy restaurant” as homeless children starve in poor villages around the world. Happy people just blink their eyes at me when they suddenly notice the sunlight from the trees – then, they laugh with a giant smile on their faces as they say “Yes, the weather looks great.” Miserable people see life as nothing more than “a troublesome burden that they have to tolerate.” Happy people see life “as a beautiful, incredible gift that they never deserve.”

Every language, every country and every religion have different questions and different answers about the world – but we may share a common emotion that is very difficult to capture with mere words and simple sentences.

Every human has feared failure.

What is Failure?
In the dictionary, the word Failure is defined as “lack of success; the omission of expected or required action.” In the English language, the word Failure began to emerge during the 1600s, and comes from the Anglo-French and Old French phrases failer and falir, which mean “be lacking; to not succeed.” The thesaurus has different synonyms for the word Failure: Breakdown, Collapse, Defeat, Mistake, Fiasco and Wreck.

For centuries, Failure has plagued many humans in different communities across our society. Christian pastors, Jewish rabbis, Muslim imams and Hindu gurus see failure from their spiritual temples when their worshippers fall into temptation and sin. Many scientists and mathematicians see failure as a crucial element in their research, since every mistake had only led to better insight into future experiments.

In our materialistic and vain society, Perfectionism is a very common ideal for young adults. After all, every flaw and mistake can influence a person to feel pathetic and worthless – and every failure can brutally remind us of our own inadequacies and limitations. When enough failures happen in our lives, we may start to suffer from low self-esteem and harsh self-criticism.

Defeat (from Past Challenges): In the dictionary, the word Defeat is defined as “the state of being beaten or having lost.” The word Defeat began to emerge in the English language during the late 1400s, and comes from the Old French phrase desfait which means “to undo.”

Discomfort (during Current Problems): In the dictionary, the word Discomfort is defined as “slight pain; make someone feel uneasy, anxious and embarrassed.” The word Discomfort began to emerge in the English language during the 1300s, and comes from the Old French phrase desconforter which means “to deprive of courage.”

Loss (of a Future Aim): In the dictionary, the word Loss is defined as “failure to keep or to continue to have something.” In the English language, the word Loss began to emerge during the 1400s, and comes from the Old English phrase los which means “ruin and destruction.”

What Can We Learn from Failure?
When we encounter very difficult situations in our lives, we may feel too intimidated and too afraid to chase after genuine happiness in the future because we already feel defeated from past challenges. We feel uncomfortable and awkward during our current situations that make us feel anxious, and hopelessness might taint our hearts when our original vision for our lives disappears from our eyes – but Failure can also teach us important lessons about wisdom, resilience and determination.

Triumph (from Past Challenges): In the dictionary, the word Triumph is defined as “a great victory or achievement.” In the English language, the word Triumph began to emerge during the late 1400s to mid-1500s, and comes from the Old French and Latin phrases triomphe and triumphus which mean “achievement, success and celebratory procession.”

When we suddenly remember painful memories from our past, we might be tempted to feel defeated and ashamed, since our different mistakes had revealed our own limitations as humans when we were young. Although our past challenges might influence us to feel defeated, we also have the chance to feel triumphant instead because every mistake can build resilience in our hearts. After all, the more challenges we survived in the past, the better chance we have to survive more challenges in the future. Resilience, endurance and perseverance enter into our minds when we focus less on painful memories and more on our resolve to learn from those memories. Remember: “If I can survive once, I can survive again.” Since the word Defeat comes from the Old French phrase desfait (which means “to undo”) you are essentially undoing every negative thought and every old fear that no longer contributes to your self-growth.

Inner Peace (during Current Problems): In the dictionary, the word Peace is defined as “freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility.” In the English language, the word Peace began to emerge during the 1200s and comes from the Anglo-French and Latin phrases pes and pacem which mean “reconciliation, silence, permission, compact and agreement.”

When you chase after the current goals for your life, you might suffer from discomfort as you struggle against stress and anxiety. You might struggle with painful thoughts such as “Am I good enough?” When you feel uncomfortable about your current situation, you might feel as if your heart is disconnected from your mind, and you might become distraught since your emotions fail to cooperate with your rational thoughts. When you focus more on Self-Love rather than Self-Hate, inner peace finally settles into your conscience because you learned to reconcile your heart with your mind. You feel complete, because you decided to let every mistake transform into a lesson – rather than the chains that suffocate you around your neck.

Gain (of a Future Aim): In the dictionary, the word Gain is defined as “to obtain or secure something desired, favorable or profitable.” In the English language, the word Gain began to emerge during the 1500s, and comes from the Old French phrase gaaignier which means “to earn, trade, capture and win.”

As we pursue future happiness for ourselves, we might feel the urge to continue having the same, old perspective that we had for years. After all, old habits die hard. If you fight against change, you might be too afraid to take “a dangerous risk that could lead to unhappiness” – so you decide to remain “comfortable and safe” in familiar circumstances that never alter. You might actually desire change after all – but you still feel afraid to take the next steps in your life.

Sure, fear can feel tremendously painful on your heart – but so can regret, when you let your fears stop you from accomplishing your dreams.

To have a life that you never had, you must be willing to lose your old fears and doubts so you can gain enough courage and strength in your heart to earn future happiness in your life.

Tell me, friend.

Do you think the weather looks nice today?